December 22nd, 2008
Man Overboard!
Used to be that bands could make a living just from selling albums and touring. Those days are long gone, so now a lot of them — and not just the washed-up and/or mostly forgotten — are taking to the high seas to make some bucks off of one of the latest and biggest and silliest industry trends, the music cruise. Frankly, I’d rather be slowly eaten by sharks than be trapped in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean with the Barenaked Ladies and a boatful of their fans. But, you know, if you’ve ever dreamed of sitting on the Lido Deck with the drummer from .38 Special, margaritas in hand, looking out at a Caribbean sunset, maybe they’re for you. Travel company Sixthman seems to be specializing in these events, and hey, if you’ve got the cash and need a last-minute holiday gift, maybe one of these upcoming cruises will tickle your fancy:
Simple Man Cruise: “Hey Rock Fans, get ready for the best 4 days of your life! Join your hosts Lynyrd Skynyrd out on the open ocean, alongside legends 38 Special, Marshall Tucker Band, Molly Hatchet, Blackberry Smoke, Cigar Store Indians, Jupiter Coyote, and many more! Leaving out of Miami, Florida on January 8th, Simple Man Cruise 2009 will be heading to Half Moon Cay, Carnival’s private island in the Bahamas, and returning on January 12th. Simple Man will all take place onboard the Carnival Destiny, a world-class cruise ship that houses five stages full of music, a full-service casino, 24-hour room service, beautiful swimming pools, and enough bars to keep everybody happy. Whenever the bands aren’t playing, you’ll be able to participate in all kinds of entertaining events onboard. We’ll be bringing back guest favorites like the Belly Flop Contest (will Tiny be able to retain his crown?), Guitar Hero competition, and even new events that will keep you on your toes!”
The Rock Boat: “Start your engines, set your vacations to cruise-control, and get ready for the greatest five days of your life. The Rock Boat IX has been designated for assignment! Be prepared to rock out with your good buddies Sister Hazel [and Hanson!] and over two dozen other amazing acts, sing along ‘til you’re hoarse, and party ‘til the sun comes up with friends you’ll never forget. Rolling out of Miami on Saturday January 17th, The Rock Boat IX will make a pit stop in Nassau, followed by a first time visit to beautiful Half Moon Cay, then return to home base on Thursday January 22nd. This will all go down onboard the Carnival Destiny, where you’ll be able to witness truck loads of live performances on five stages, enjoy 24-hour room service, a full casino, plenty of pools, and more bars than you can shake a stick at! In between the musical action, you’ll be able to join in high-octane events like the Flip Cup Tournament (last year we had 32 teams, each with custom uniforms), Open Mic Night, and the now-infamous Rock Boat Confessional (last year’s tape has been deemed illegal in 23 of the 50 states). Get ready to kick the tires and light the fires, because we’re going to blow you away.”Ships & Dip: “Barenaked Ladies and Sixthman are up to some more shenanigans! It’s the real McCoy – Introducing Ships and Dip V, sailing through the Caribbean February 1-6, 2009. We’re bringing you the goods again, in what’s sure to be the craziest, zaniest time at sea! Join Barenaked Ladies, Great Big Sea, The New Odds, Boothby Graffoe, The Weakerthans, and more bands to be announced throughout the year, as we set sail on the Norwegian Jewel for 5 days of revelry, recreation, and boatloads of musical fun! With NCL’s Freestyle Cruising, you won’t get the bum’s rush for doing exactly what you want! You can get dolled up, or keep it casual. We set sail from Miami to NCL’s private island of Great Stirrup Cay and Cozumel, Mexico – two great places to get some sun on those gams!”
Cayamo: “Remember when you fell in love with music all over again? We do – it was Cayamo 2008. It only gets better from here, and we can’t wait for 2009 to exceed your expectations. Get away from your everyday life on this Journey Through Song, which will explore folk, blues, Americana, and the best singer-songwriters around. Join Lyle Lovett, John Hiatt, Patty Griffin, Shawn Colvin, Buddy Miller and more artists to be announced throughout the year, as we set sail from Miami February 28th through March 7th. We’ll be making stops in Samana, St. Thomas, Tortola, and Great Stirrup Cay, a private island where you can relax on pristine beaches and swim in clear blue water. Savor every moment of this experience aboard The Norwegian Dawn, your home for 7 days of the most memorable vacation of your life. You’ll enjoy their brand of Freestyle Cruising with world class restaurants and lounges, three pools and the luxurious spa. When you aren’t relaxing or seeing your favorite artist perform poolside, you’ll be entertained by the many theme nights and fun activities we have in store for you.”
Mayercraft Carrier 2: “Get ready for the best four days and four nights of your life. The original Mayercraft Carrier marked the start of something special: incredible performances (and unique choices of outfits), lasting friendships, and stories that seem too good to be true. John had such a great time onboard last year that he’s doing it all over again. Get ready for the Mayercraft Carrier 2: Even Craftier! We’ll be shipping off the West Coast, leaving from Los Angeles (Port of San Pedro), CA on March 27th, 2009 and returning March 31st. In between the two days at sea filled with non-stop music, contests, parties, theme nights, good times, John Mayer (of course), O.A.R., Guster, and many more artists – we’ll be dropping anchor for a full day in beautiful Cabo San Lucas, Mexico! You’d be crazy to miss out on all of this craftiness. Along with a flip cup tournament, karaoke, and trivia, we’re going to pack so much action into these four days, you won’t have time to sleep, so don’t bother bringing pajamas.”
If you’ve ever wondered about some of the non-music events happening on these ships, there’s the ever-popular “Rubik’s Cube Party” on the Skynyrd cruise: “Remember the Rubik’s Cube, and how hard it was to solve? We’re taking it a step further, and getting your clothes involved. Come dressed with your clothes in all the different colors of a Rubik’s cube. For example – red shirt, blue pants, green socks, yellow sweater, orange hat, and white scarf. Throughout the night, you must exchange clothes with your fellow passengers until your outfit is “solved” and all of your clothes are the same color.”
Oof.
