Want to know what sort of state you live in? Check out these laws: You can’t catch fish with your mouth, hands or by way of dynamite. You can’t sleep on a refrigerator outdoors. It’s illegal for a man to buy alcohol, too, without written permission – from his wife. In Allentown, men aren’t allowed to become aroused in public. Anywho, lawmakers in Harrisburg are looking to clean out some of those laws. [Pittsburgh Channel]

Remember this summer, the whole problem going on with witness intimidation? How the city managed to allocate $200,000, which was, according to Mayor Michael Nutter, “$200,000 more than we had”? We, um, guess that was sorta cool, but now District Attorney Seth Williams is pulling out the big guns: He and “other advocates” want prosecutors to have the power to convene in “indicting grand juries, allowing witnesses in violent-crime cases to testify behind closed doors.” The idea is that it would spare frightened witnesses, especially as intimidators often find their way into courtrooms, literally getting in the faces of witnesses. [Inky]

Grandpa A. Spec dished a little about his hatred of “partisanship” to the Post-Gazette lately. But the worst dirt he’s leaving for his Senate farewell speech, at which time old white men – from both sides of the aisle! – will cry. Also, he’ll have a book out at some point. (Psst. If you really didn’t like partisanship, you’d have left the Republican Party and become an Independent, not run to the White House for political cover.) And here’s some food for thought: Why does anyone read political memoirs? (Full disclosure: I do.) [Post-Gazette]

$17,150 for karaoke singers, Swiss Alps yodelers, belly dancers and a salsa dance instructor? Check. The Philadelphia Housing Authority’s expenses get weirder by the moment. And this is just the stuff that’s in the paper, not even Carl Greene’s upcoming tell-all book, “Screw You And Everyone Else, I’m Nuts.” [Inky]

Nice job dumping this news on Friday night: No one’s shocked SEPTA’s new Silverliner V cars are being delayed by production problems. We were supposed to have three by Friday, after those were pushed back from November. Nope. Six more were supposed to be delivered this month. Nope. That’s bad, but what’s worse is that the cars are being built in South Korea, then sent to the Hyundai-Rotem Corp. factory on Weccacoe Avenue in South Philly for final touches and – surprise – it’s not until they get to the United States that the problems begin. And the only cars that are actually in service are the “pilot” cars – three of ‘em – that were built completely in Korea. [Inky]

Jayson Werth signed to the Nationals yesterday. Boo. [Fox]