DAILY GRINDER: Philly Wants its Own Cigarette Warnings

Philadelphia is not waiting around for the federal government to force them to put pictures of extreme cancerous lungs near stores’ cigarette packs. While Big Tobacco-led lawsuits are dealt with nationally, the law’s meat grinder sets in motion, and Truth.com plans its next set of “hip” commercials, Philadelphia will require both “A pictorial or graphic image showing the adverse health effects of cigarettes and noncigarette tobacco product use” and “Information about how to get help for individuals interested in quitting” signs in stores that sell tobacco. If passed, they would be required by July 2012.

Woe is us. A suburban Philadelphia bank closed its doors yesterday, bringing the number of nationwide dollar dealers that’ve closed up to 65 for the year. At this time last year, that number was 118…Progress?

Here are some sweet quotes from Judge Kevin Dougherty during a hearing for two teenagers and an 11-year-old who flash mobbed Center City last month: “Your actions, behavior, and attitude are appalling and disgusting for civilized society…Downtown is not terror town. Philadelphia will not be a laughingstock because [of] a few individuals who decide to hunt human beings and laugh about it.” They’re being sentenced to different places based on their ages and other factors. The 11-year-old is being placed in his grandmother’s care.

Human punching bag and cause of all the world’s problems Arlene Ackerman is not feeling the love. She gave what some are calling a “good bye” speech this week. And now the Philadelphia Children’s First Fund, a charity established in 2003 to aid the school district, is attempting to buy out the rest of her contract so she’ll get out and the Philadelphia School District will be fixed, once and for all!

Uh Oh. Turns out, Republican Council hopeful and Obama voter David Oh may be lying about his service in the U.S. Military, just like John Kerry, except for real. Oh claims he was a Green Beret, which in most peoples’ books, makes him a shoe-in for City Council because it’s possible he may sing the song on the campaign trail, and the song is awesome. But, according to Oh’s commanding officer in 1991, Oh’s claim is “absolutely not” accurate. Oh actually did not make it through Green Beret training. A review of his record by Lt. Col. Charles Kohler found that “He was never qualified as a Special Forces officer.” Too bad for him.

An LGBT Journalist and Bloggers Convention is coming to Philadelphia next week/weekend. It’ll be held at the Lowes Hotel and feature a number of workshops for those in attendance. Three-hundred and fifty are expected to show up.

Here’s a roundup of the best jokes – according to the comedy critics at the Daily News – from last night’s “Candidate’s Comedy Night” hosted by Stu Bykofsky:

“You know you’re in Philadelphia when a big newspaper columnist like Stu Bykofsky raises money for a children’s charity even though he’s the poster child for erectile dysfunction.” – City Councilman Wilson Goode Jr.

“If assholes could fly, they’d be an airport.” – Byko on City Commissioners Joe Duda and Anthony Clark, who did not attend.

“You look like a cross between Urkel and Groucho Marx.” – Mariano to Mayor Nutter.

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