Philadelphia Police Chief Charles Ramsey sent a cease and desist letter to retired Philadelphia Police Captain Raymond Lewis, who was recently arrested at an Occupy Wall Street protest. Ramsey would like you to take off your shirt, Mr. Lewis. “It could give the mistaken opinion that somehow this is a statement being made by a member of the police department, and it’s not,” Ramsey told the Associated Press. “He has every right to protest. But wear something else.” The Fraternal Order of Police union has filed a grievance, as well. Lewis’ response: “I find it incredibly interesting that there are former Philadelphia police officers who were convicted of crimes, and served prison sentences, that have NOT had their memberships or pensions revoked.” Burn!

Is there anything former New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine can do right? He was in the witness seat yesterday, testifying to the U.S. House Agriculture Committee about what happened to $1.2 billion some farmers invested in his financial firm, MF Global, which invests money in stuff (?) and, really, if you’re still putting your money in corporations like this, owned by grossly failed politicians of all things, are you really surprised when the guy investing your cash ends up in front of Congress, saying, “I simply do not know where the money is, or why the accounts have not been reconciled to date”?

City Council OK’d the bouncer regulations bill. It requires bouncers to receive city-approved bouncer training courses from third-party agencies within 45 days of getting hired. This will definitely stop them from kicking asses for no reason.

Jerry Sandusky’s wife Dorothy promises—promises!—her husband is innocent as he made bail again yesterday. But get this: It’s possible, at some point, she could face charges, too. According to defense attorney Jacob Jividen, who spoke with an ABC affiliate in the middle of the state, “She does have a legal obligation to report child abuse, but she would have to know about it. So if she didn’t know about it, if she didn’t hear the cries for help, then basically that would be the defense. That would probably be her only defense, that she didn’t know it was going on.”

Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum has got a big endorsement on the horizon (at least as big as Iowa goes…): Corn-fed Secretary of State Matt Schultz is expected to endorse Santorum later today, according to the Hill. This comes just a day after Santorum used the “You’re fat, America” defense against food stamps. (That’s it. No food stamps because you’re all fat fucks. Lose weight. That’s his argument.)

New Pennsylvania Quinnipiac polls out. If we saw Obama vs. Romney, it’s Obama 46-43. If Obama vs. Gingrich, it’s Obama 48-40.

Just a day after being named the second most violent city in America, community members held a “stop the violence” rally at the Life Celebration of a slain grocery store owner.

Tomorrow is the “Running of the Santas” drinking thing, which starts at Finnegan’s Wake. Hey, 10,000 douchebags can’t be wrong, right?