Election 2012: Rick Perry Endorses Open Relationships

canditateportrait_2DownWe are going to miss Rick Perry. So much! This George W. Bush impersonator and guy who is not ashamed to say he’s a Christian (an openly persecuted minority in the U.S.) has decided to drop out of the race today, even though we thought he’d already dropped out weeks ago. Either way, this is big news, and now he’s throwing his “support” behind Newt Gingrich, who’d been surging in polls up until last night, when it was revealed his ex-wife wanted to expose him. And perhaps open the door up to gaining the swing community’s endorsement.

The former Marianne Gingrich, it was revealed, gave a 2-hour interview to ABC News and has nothing but terrible things to say about her former husband. Among those allegations: He wanted an “open marriage” while they were together in the 90s, and says Newt’s mistress/current wife, Callista, was totally cool with that. We saw that episode of Seinfeld, too! This is proof ‘The switch’ works. And evidence, beyond all doubt, that Newt Gingrich lacks moral values to hold the worst job in the world.

'You do pretty well with the ladies...for a monster.'

'You do pretty well with the ladies...for a monster.'

Except, not. No one ever thought Newt Gingrich could become president because of his ‘value’ system. That he cheated on his first wife with his second, then his second with his third: Old news. And on that, no one ‘lacks moral character’ to be president, as some are now saying. The position of the president requires no morals, or character, whatsoever. Non-wide-eyed sociopaths need not apply.

And then: Are ex’s reliable sources? Of course not. Ex’s and come forward with information, allegations and rumors because they hate their ex, which is true of most ex’s (same thing happened to former NJ Guv Jon Corzine when he ran for governor in 2005). Here’s President Lyndon Johnson’s ex saying she heard LBJ and Nixon get together for a scheme to kill John F. Kennedy.

Nevertheless, by endorsing Gingrich on the day it’s been revealed that Gingrich wanted an open relationship some years back, we’re going to conclude Rick Perry has shown his support for open relationships. Which could be a good campaign slogan.

6 Responses to “ Election 2012: Rick Perry Endorses Open Relationships ”

  1. [...] PW-Philadelphia Weekly (blog) [...]

  2. phillygal says:

    maybe if newt plays his cards right, he can get heff’s endorsement. have a fundraiser at the bunny ranch or whatever it’s called. yee-ha!

  3. [...] receding as a GOP cause? PhillyClout: Thursday’s DN: A half-billion dollars to nowhere? PhillyNow: Election 2012: Rick Perry endorses open relationships PhillyNow: New report says Philly Fire [...]

  4. [...] John King opened by asking Newt Gingrich about the ABC news story regarding his positive use of ‘the switch’ with his ex- and current-wives. In a move straight out of every Republican’s playbook since The [...]

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