"Let's play a game. It's called 'I win'."

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum has a new message on the campaign trail: Don’t worry about the math, unless we’re talking about polls. And in that case, he says, he can beat Barack Obama in November and Mitt Romney can’t. So, really, what’s the point of the primaries at all?

“In Florida, North Carolina, Ohio and Virginia (four critical states) our campaign is polling 4% better than President Obama, while the Romney campaign is polling 4% worse than the President,” the Santorum campaign wrote by email last night.

While Santorum doesn’t disclose in the email where those numbers are coming from, a search shows it’s likely from Rasmussen, whose polling I’ve never been sure about, especially this far outside the election (they only poll “likely voters,” and voting becomes more likely for the incumbent party as the election gets closer and there’s a known opponent; they also almost exclusively poll more conservative than any other organization). And to make matters far stranger, the website where I initially found the poll, USA News First, notes that the numbers are no surprise. Why? Because a ‘reader’ tells them, “Santorum’s lead may be 10-15% because many ‘news’ sites have been either in error or have distorted poll numbers away from Santorum. It is sad to think that there is ‘state run’ media in the USA.”

Recent reports have shown that both Romney and Santorum have campaigned for the other one throughout their careers, though you wouldn’t know it by hearing them speak. “Americans want leadership and a concrete plan of action,” Santorum continues in his email. “They don’t want more equivocation and policy half-steps. That’s why we can beat Obama and Mitt Romney never can.”

Oddly, Mitt Romney won the GOP primaries in Florida, Ohio and Virgina, all states Santorum makes claim to his throne in the recent message. So, if you’re still with us, and want to read between the lines, the takeaway is this: Santorum doesn’t seem to put too much faith in the GOP primaries.

And neither does USA News First, who end their article on the poll with this gem: “Obama and Romney are considered unelectable because they oppose Jesus Christ. The evidence shows that Obama is ineligible because he presented a forged birth certificate.”