Thirty-one Occupy protesters—all of whom were arrested on Occuviction night—were acquitted yesterday on all charges (blocking a highway, etc.). After hearing from Police Captain William Fisher, the judge ruled “prosecutors did not have enough evidence to bring their case to a jury,” similar to the ten Occupiers who were acquitted in February.

A new zoning ordinance has created two districts along both sides City Avenue, which has the potential to “dramatically reshape” the far away home of St. Joseph’s University. The update will mean “multifamily development, transit-oriented development, blending retail and residential as well as making the area more pedestrian-friendly.”

The Philadelphia priest abuse case keeps getting sicker. But at least we can take comfort in knowing the Philadelphia Archdiocese (like the church as a whole, internationally) has repeatedly apologized and offered the victims any help they may ever need in the future to make up for these horrific crimes against them…Oh, wait. None of that happened. Here’s what was heard yesterday: “The witness said Avery put on church music and made him do a striptease in a small anteroom inside St. Jerome’s Church in northeast Philadelphia in 1999, then engaged in mutual oral sex and masturbation. He said he once had to use his shirt to wipe the priest’s semen off of him before walking home.”

The Pennsylvania Department of Health says it’s gotten less than 30 complaints from people who think natural gas drilling has negatively impacted their health. Which proves we should keep drilling, and why not keep the law that says doctors can’t share fracking dangers with their patients – you know, while we’re at it? There’s nothing to worry about anyway!

A congressional committee in Washington heard testimony as to why oil refineries, like the ones in Philly, are closing. Experts blame both Obama and Bush Administration policies—Obama’s EPA rules and Bush’s ethanol minimum standards. Newt Gingrich had a crack about Obama wanting to replace ethanol subsidies with seaweed, somewhere, probably, if someone were paying attention to him.

G. Terry Madonna’s five takeaways from Tuesday’s primary: “Party endorsements aren’t worth much.” “Ideological polarization continues in both parties.” “Democrats might finally have figured out how to be competitive for Attorney General.” “Continuing dominance of legislative incumbents.” “A curious combination of apathy amid continuing anger prevails among voters.”

The vice dean of UPenn’s Education graduate school resigned Thursday after being placed on leave Wednesday “pending an investigation about his false claim to have a doctoral degree.” Ouch.

Sheriff Jewell Hollywood Williams wants another $3.5 million for his office—bringing the office budget to more than $17 million. Weird how Council had considered completely eliminating this very office just two years ago.

David Toledo of Holmesburg swears he’s innocent of all those tire slashings.

Green Line Cafe, at 45th and Locust, was robbed last night. Everyone is OK.