DAILY GRINDER: Here are the Dumbest Hurricane Sandy Headlines We Could Find

yesterdays daily grinderGood thing for us, Philadelphia was not built on an ocean. Because it seems like the cities that were are facing the brunt of this storm. And if you’re worried about, or want to help, those who are seriously suffering through this storm, you can contact and donate to the Red Cross here.

That said, I’m not going to pretend you’re reading Philadelphia Weekly’s news blog for constant weather updates. You do, after all, have the Weather Channel and TV news. Therefore, I present to you, the dumbest* hurricane-related headlines on the web.

*And if you are aware of a dumber one, send me the link on Twitter (@RandyLoBasso) and if it holds up, I’ll link it here and credit you, natch.

‘People Are Going To Be Fighting In The Streets Over Gasoline, Food’…
Source: Drudge Report
Reaction: Jesus! Is that true? That’s going to happen? Good God, no! *Clicks Link* Ohhhh, I get it now: fearmongering. The article, originally from the Associated Press, is about people evacuating from places like the New Jersey Shore. And the headline in question isn’t quoting anyone reputable, or maybe, anyone at all. Mark Palazzolo, from Point Pleasant, New Jersey, is quoted as saying “I got a call from a friend of mine from Florida last night who said, ‘Mark, get out! If it’s not the storm, it’ll be the aftermath. People are going to be fighting in the streets over gasoline and food.’” The guy also has a theory about who killed Kennedy. Let’s all listen.

1990s East Coast Hurricane Drill Named “Sandy”
Source: InfoWars
Reaction: Uh, what? This article on Alex Jones’ InfoWars notes a 1996 webpage shows how the government conducted a drill once for a hurricane that hit Long Island, and the hurricane in that instance was named “Sandy.” At first, I wasn’t sure what to make of this, since the article itself provides no context. Then I read the comments section and I was like, “Ohhh, right. New World Order Hurricane Machines.” (There’s a conspiracy theory which says natural disasters are created with science machines to control the masses.) As per one commenter: “What do you think Harp is for, entertaining polar bears? The election is near and if Obama can show how much better a job he can do after a hurricane than Bush did he can get more votes. If this fails and lots of folks are lost it is one more step in the plot for the Muslims ( Obama is one) to take over and rout out the infidels. Obama admitted when he was a senator that he was a Muslim the went on to state that he was born in Kenya! The big question is: Why has not Congress impeached him? Who is paying off whom. These prostitutes in congress are bought and paid for by the elite.”

Anti-Gay Preacher Blames Hurricane Sandy On Homosexuality And Marriage Equality
Source: Think Progress
Reaction: This one isn’t stupid because of the headline, per se. It’s stupid because of course this happened. Think Progress, God love ‘em, are blogging about some radical nutty religious leader somewhere who wants attention, and, therefore, donations to his obviously radical church. The religious leader in question, John McTernan, has made similar statements regarding Hurricanes Katrina and Isaac. The dude is a troll. And here we are, glorifying him the Internet over.

Leadership: Romney Uses Campaign Bus to Deliver Hurricane Relief
Source: Breitbart
Reaction: For the love of God. It’s not “leadership,” it’s a campaign tactic. This article notes the Romney campaign is canceling their campaigning to provide Hurricane Relief. The source for that: The Romney campaign. But, is the Romney campaign using its buses to deliver supplies in Delaware, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and New York? Nope. According to the Breitbart article, they’re headed to Virginia and New Hampshire—swing states! Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But saying they’re canceling campaign events is downright stupid. These are campaign events and Breitbart knows that as well as anyone else.

Extended ‘grid down’ survival scenario about to be unleashed across Eastern seaboard as storm of the century approaches
Source: Natural News
Reaction: Before I move on, please understand that Natural News is taken very seriously by a lot of people. Lots of the site is similar to InfoWars (government conspiracies, GMO-related news), and, sure, some of it is just out there (the site claimed the Colorado ‘Dark Knight Rises’ shooter was a government patsy) and lots of it is about natural cures and treatments for human disease. That being said, in this article, the author notes that “Hurricane Sandy is a survival drill for the unprepared masses.” So, what’s that mean? Well, many of us in the east coast, and in cities no less, are not prepared for certain catastrophic events, since all we do is gay marry and sip lattes. When this is over, some of us will be without power and looking at floods outside our windows. Which is preparation for, according to Natural News, one of several likely scenarios. Scenarios like: “A nuclear attack by a rogue nation such as North Korea,” “A civil war or some sort of massive social unrest across the USA,” “A large rock from space crashing into the planet, unleashing a global mega tidal wave over a thousand feet high,” or “The unleashing of a viral bioweapon designed to kill 90 percent of the global population.” So, prepare, people! Because when that viral bioweapon designed to demolish human civilization comes—and it will, oh yes, yes, it will!—you want to be part of that 10 percent who survives, right?

One Response to “ DAILY GRINDER: Here are the Dumbest Hurricane Sandy Headlines We Could Find ”

  1. Garrett says:

    Only thing more stupid than Romney’s bus being used for supplies, is seeing Obama playing President in the situation room. Where was he during Benghazi? Went to sleep, off to a fund-raiser and Letterman. We need real leadership.

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