Conservatives hate Hollywood. Conservatives need Hollywood.

Andrew Breitbart, a Drudge-buddy, today launches Big Hollywood — a group blog designed to begin the conservative takeover of the entertainment business. Or something like that. Breitbart explains the aim of the site is to return Hollywood to its “patriotic roots”:

Big Hollywood’s modest objective: to change the entertainment industry. To make Hollywood something we can believe in – again. In order to give millions of Americans hope.

Until conservatives, libertarians and Republicans – who will be the lion’s share of Big Hollywood’s contributors – recognize that (pop) culture is the big prize and that politics is secondary, there will be no victory in this important battle.

And apparently Big Hollywood will help bend the industry to conservative wishes by utilizing the awesome powers of … Orson Bean. Yes, he’s a fine actor and, yes, he’s also Andrew Breitbart’s father-in-law, but I’m not sure that anybody — in or out of the entertainment industry — but he’s also … Orson Bean. And he’s 80. There’s nothing wrong with that, but he’s not really the audience Hollywood is chasing.

(To be fair, Breitbart’s stable also includes John Nolte, who was the guy behind Dirty Harry’s Place, a conservative blog focusing on film. It was pretty interesting, most of the time.)

If Breitbart wants Hollywood to start churning out John Wayne movies again, he’s probably not going to succeed. The movie business is pretty thoroughly globalized — it’s not just the American box office that counts anymore — which is why villains in blockbusters tend to have their nationalities neutered (Quick: Name the country that provided the enemy fighters in Top Gun) or simply made up (”Mr. President: We’ve got a situation in Kablooeystan”) or made the avatars of a faceless behind-the-scenes corporation that is the source of real villainy in the world, not those pesky nation-states. The intentional vagueness makes it possible for a movie to be popular — and sell tickets — everywhere. “America is No. 1,” though, is a message that might not sell tickets in Luxembourg. And movie execs want to make money in Luxembourg.

Yes, Hollywood is reflexively liberal. Yes, that means you get crappy anti-war movies now and again. (Though you also get great anti-war movies, too.) But if flag-waving sold movie tickets, we’d be getting more of those John Wayne movies. Hollywood is a business, not a political action committee. Attempts to politicize it — instead of letting it entertain us, while chuckling at the ham-handedness movies like Rendition — are doomed to failure.