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No way is today’s “Dear Prudence” letter-writer for real:
Dear Prudence,
I am a married man in my 30s, and I have known for some time now that I am quite well-endowed. Though my past girlfriends and wife have been enthusiastic about it, my problem is with how my wife treats this personal information. She discusses my size quite openly with her friends, which I understand is part of her “girl talk.” However, I recently found out that she told a female acquaintance whom she’d met for the first time! I am a fairly introverted person, and knowing that our friends have this information affects my social interaction with them. I have brought this issue up with her and asked her to tone it down, but her argument is that she is sharing something positive about me, and therefore it causes no harm. My wife and I have an otherwise stable and loving marriage, and I do not want this issue to be a bone of contention. How can I get my wife to stop broadcasting this? Or should I just accept it?
—Zipped Up
Dear Slate: I’ve got a HUGE penis! And my problem is my wife wants to tell the whole world about my HUGE penis! I don’t like this, which is why I’m writing you for advice about how to discuss my HUGE penis! What should I do?
Dan Savage regularly calls out letter-writers he thinks make up stuff. Might’ve been a good idea in this case.
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Her reply was humorous too, I think she caught on to the joke.
No, the funniest part of this is that she’s published THE SAME LETTER, word for word in the past few months.