Project Runway Episode Three: The Week (Almost) Everything Was Ugly

Is it just us or is Sandra Bernhard really freakin’ annoying? Maybe it’s a generational thing, or the distraction of her weirdly squashed face, but for someone listed on Comedy Central’s greatest standups of all time, she seems to be lacking in the humor department. Ya know where else she’s lacking? Fashion knowledge.

At least Natalie Portman had that eco-friendly shoe line, Sandra Bernhard just has that friendship with Madonna a few hundred years ago.

But alas, this is not about guest judges. This is about fashion design.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get a whole lot of fashion this week. Instead, we got shit-tons of ugly clothes and a couple hot little ditties. Let’s take ‘em one design at a time.

This little asymmetrically hemmed frock is courtesy of Blaynelicious. It looks like he took a poly-cotton turtle neck and stapled some birthday party streamers on it. Ewlicious.

Daniel used what appears to be gold lame to make a toga. Now let’s consider this week’s challenge: make a “going out” outfit inspired by NYC. If his model was headed to a disco in NYC, then everything’s gravy.

Nina Garcia thought Carmen Miranda would like this dress, made by the elfin Emily. It looks a tad unfinished, but it certainly wasn’t the worst of the bunch. Unfortunately Heidi & Co. didn’t see it that way and Emily was eliminated.

Jerrell made this gown. Now we’re not exactly 24-hour party people over here at PW Style, but we’re sociable enough to know that the unnecessary train of this dress would drag on the floor of even the swankest bar in town and be destroyed instantly.

Joe’s a dad. And we aren’t saying that having children has totally fucked his sense of design. What we’re saying is that he probably doesn’t go out a lot because he’s busy wiping snot from the noses of his rugrats. If he did go out, he would know that no self respecting young woman in 2008 would wear this dress.

There’s nothing particularly unique or special about Suede’s sleeveless button-up dress. He styled it well with great accessory and shoe choices, but the garment itself looks eerily similar to a $28 Old Navy dress from this past summer.

This photo does no justice to the hot little number Terri (aka Donna Summer) designed. Inspired by graffiti and street art, her fabric is a perfect representation of her inspiration. The dress is completely backless and pairing it with wide-flared black pants was absolutely genius. She probably should’ve won tonight’s challenge.

The best part of Keith’s dress is Michael Kors reaction to it: “[Your dress] looked like toilet paper caught in a windstorm.” We’d have added the word “used” in front of “toilet paper,” but yeah, good call.

Kelli’s been our fave for the past two weeks, but there is just way, way too much going on in this outfit. We get that she’s got an edgier, punkier look, but this actually looks painful to wear.

Swear to god. There were nuns at my Catholic grade school that looked less matronly than this. Jennifer was in the bottom two and if we were Emily, we’d be pissed that she got to stay. This girl better count her lucky stars that someone took pity on her, because her designs have been a little too Cleaver-esque for Bryant Park.

Okay, okay. A small break from the fashion bashin’ for Korto’s design. Her wide-legged halter jumpsuit is wearable and classy. And more importantly, should’ve been in the top three.

This is actually painful to type, because Leanne is so irritating with her lack of confidence and her raggedy hair, but this is a great design. This two-piece shirt and skirt combo has the appeal of looking like a dress with the bonus of being able to switch out the top for a completely different look. The skirt is expertly executed and for that, we give it up to Leanne tonight.

Leatha Lova Stella made this lace-up studded Hot Topic knockoff. And this has absolutely nothing to do with her designs, but it appears that someone dropped a major hint to Stella, because she’d clearly set her make up gun on whore for her confessionals this week. Hate to break it to ya, sweetie, but now you just look old and slutty. (Pictures will be posted as soon as they’re found.)

And finally, tonight’s winning design, courtesy of Kenley. It’s all right, if you’re into wearing your grandmothers curtains and accesorizing with the ballet tutu you wore in third grade.

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Challenge: Bright Lights/Big City

Guest Judge: Sandra Bernhard

Winner: Kenley

Loser: Emily

PW Style Blog MVP of the Night: Screw the designers. Tim Gunn gets it this week for apparently working for free for the entire first season. And for being a total hardass this season.