Project Runway Episode Four: Stella Must Go!

Why is Stella still on Project Runway? Honestly, I’m asking for answer. If you have one, email me at epalan@philadelphiaweekly.com.

This week’s challenge was timely: create an outfit for female American athletes to wear to the 2008 Olympics. The key word in that previous is “2008.” With only a few refreshing exemptions, every single designer based their design on a prior decade. Most notable was Daniel’s 1940s-inspired cocktail dress (why Olympians would wear cocktail dresses is beyond me and apparently, the judges agree because Daniel was in the bottom two).

Jerrell’s freaky 1920s garment was also a weird throwback. Nina Garcia was speechless at the sight of it.

Joe was the only designer to create actual sportswear with a jaunty little skort and jacket.

Frankly, we don’t even like the dude (and are maybe a little offended by his “queen” comment) but he was robbed when Heidi and Co. gave top honors to Korto’s wide-leg linen pants with a lightweight leather vest.

Praise whatever-god-you-worship; Jennifer has finally been eliminated. Chick shoulda been gone from the first damn episode. Or at the very least, after last week’s freakishly literal clock dress. She calls her design aesthetic “Holly Golightly Meets Salvidor Dali,” but Jennifer’s garments were a little less surreal and a little more Sag Harbor, if you pick up what we’re laying down here.

We’d love to argue that Jennifer’s atrocity was the least patriotic design on the runway, but there’s Stella. Leather-loving, tough as nails, craggy-faced, rock-and-roll Stella who wasn’t even in the bottom three this week despite making yet another freakin’ biker outfit. The judges scolded Jennifer for her lack of creativity—and they weren’t wrong—but Stella made yet another suit of leather, this one with a bizarre hole over the belly button. I guess because athletes probably have hot abs? Or maybe she thinks they should all have navel piercings? Because that’s, ya know, rock-and-roll, man.

Stella’s tenure is clearly the work of evil television producers forcing the results to keep an “interesting” character around longer. Or maybe she screwed Michael Kors (we know, we know! It’s a joke!). Or maybe the gods are just mad that Project Runway is moving to Lifetime. Either way, Stella should have been gone.

And we’d say that we won’t stand for this kind of injustice, but … well … we like television (even if this is, without question, the worst season of Project Runway ever) and we’re already committed to writing this post weekly. But know that we are outraged! Stella must go!

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Challenge: Olympics

Guest Judge: Apolo Ohno

Winner: Korto

Loser: Jennifer

PW Style Blog MVP of the Night: Joe. Dude rocked it. Way to go, daddy-o.