Up, Up and Away
Totally digging this rug from Flor. Available by the square foot ($9.29/sq. ft.) or as a six-tile area rug ($149.99), I can picture this short, cropped velvet rug under a desk chair for a little escapism during a long day staring at the computer screen.
A New Appreciation For Ironic T-Shirts
Puns are a big part of my life. Each headline and photo caption I write as A&E editor—roughly 15 a week—needs to be catchy. Something I never knew about myself until I began this job: I am really, really bad at puns. Thankfully my co-workers are much more clever than I am and often save my ass when I’m really stuck—roughly 14 times a week.
Since I’ve developed this love-hate relationship with wordplay, I’ve noticed that I’ve also developed a much higher tolerance for ironic T-shirts. Previously cordoned off in the “only for bros” section of my brain (along with khaki shorts, puka bead necklaces and Halo), I now appreciate—and it almost pains me to say, respect—=the thought and effort required to design a T-shirt with a funny saying.
So, bros and non-bros, you have my approval to wear all the ironic Ts you want. But just to be clear, I’m still way too proud to direct you to Busted Tees, originator of the wretched “Your Retarded” T-shirt. Instead I suggest checking out the apparel in the Mental_floss store for a much brainier selection. (Full disclosure: I’m a big fan of the _floss and have been fortunate enough to contribute an occasional article to their superb blog which has more trivia and fun facts than any other site on the Web.)
Here’s some of my faves. And bonus: Use the order code “holidayteeparty” to buy shirts for just $14.90 each.
Obsession: The Creepy World of Fake Babies
This video brings inside the creepy, non-crawly (see what I did there?) world of designer fake babies. Is this really the fashion in England or is it like a Bush thing where you’re like, “No no no, we’re not all like this!”
Women carry these babies around to the stores and whathaveyou, smiling and taking compliments from strangers who peer into their rubber faces and coo. Creepy. Creepier: They have names, “birth dates” and adoption information. Creepiest: Also called “reborn” babies.
From the website: “The baby dolls hands and feet are also coloured, their tiny nails have been manicured and varnished to give a nice gloss finish. Our dolls come with both open and closed eyes. The nostrels (sic) are also opened so the baby can breath (sic) and also gives a lifelike finish.”
For some reason they’ve disabled the embedding on the video, perhaps sensing its blogworthiness. Let us out Firefox them together. I promise you it’s worth the 3 minutes.
Sad but true personality defect overshare: I have never owned a Cabbage Patch Kid. I am quite against the Motherhood Industrial Complex of giving little girls mommy-training toys. I find it sick. That said, my BFF Wendy was really into her Cabbage Patch Kid. So much so, that she took it to church with us, and when I would come over to play Barbies having sex she started to shush me, “The baby’s sleeping!”
Oh HELLS no. So one day, after Wendy gingerly ladled the doll into my arms to watch over as she used the loo, I decided to end the madness. I held my hand over it’s nostrils and mouth, one eye on the clock. When Wendy returned and saw this she screamed, grabbed Randy, threw him against her chest and sighed, “Thank god he’s still breathing!” To which I responded, “No he’s not! And even if he is, it’s been three minutes so that means he’s BRAIN-DAMAGED.”
Sidenote to future babydaddy: Sorry.
Sale Alert: 50% off all Slippers at DSW
You need new slippers every year. There’s just no joy into sliding out of a fresh shower and into stained smelly slippers of yesteryear. Bust in to DSW while all slippers, even the ones that look more like boots, are half off. Use online promotional code COZY.
From the Dept. of Holy Shit: Poo-Pourri
The December/January issue of Bust just arrived, and among a few new good things–we’ve been indeed digging Sarah Haskins’ “Target: Women” episodes (though Jenny Lewis on the cover? Nothing new there, huh? And I swear I’ve read that Margaret Cho quote about how she got started a zillion times…) the most startling section was a little product endorsement on page 24.
Have poo anxiety? Does a chick shit quickly and quietly alone in the bathroom while nervously listening for the door? You bet your sweet-smelling ass.
Behold Poo-pourri.
You spray poo-pourri INTO THE BOWL before unleashing your Activia-propelled B.M. and it magically offsets any odor.
This is totally blowing my mind.
Reviews:
Someone named DungDaddy reviewed it on the PoopReport. Dear Mom, totally forget what I said about having mental issues. Clearly, I’m not running a website dedicated to poo. Good lord.
Hello, Kitty
A few weeks ago, I admitted to my adoration for Hello Kitty. Co-workers past and present mocked me. Whatevs. It’s not like I’m really into something lame, like say, grammar. Anyway, the word from MAC cosmetics today is that they’re partnering with Sanrio, the company behind adorable kitty cuteness, to create a Hello Kitty color cosmetics collection. The line will arrive on MAC’s Web site Feb. 10, in North American stores on Feb. 12.
Never Again Do The Walk of Shame
We’ve all been there. Two too many drinks on a Tuesday night and you wake up queasy and greasy Wednesday morning on a strange couch wondering why you ever though chugging Irish car bombs on a week night was a good idea. And then you realize that there is no way you can escape this without a walk of shame. Your heart sinks. Perhaps you actually vomit.
But what if you could leave the couch gracefully? Go to work without that disgusting bar stench and with a little dignity (at least as much dignity as a girl who’s wearing the same clothes as the day before can muster)? Thanks to Urban Aid Kits, you can.
Available at a handful of retailers around town (Leehe Fai, The Paperia, South Moon Under and Scarlett Alley) for just over $25, the kits include a mini-toothbrush and toothpaste, a phone card, a one-size-fits-all thong, three condoms, some pain reliever and a “thanks for the memories” note to leave behind in case you wound up at somewhere other than your best gal pal’s.
From Beth, With Love
Do y’all know Beth? She’s our fan-freaking-tastic video intern. She spends her weekends talking to strangers about what they’re wearing and why and convincing them that they totally want to be filmed for philadelphiaweekly.com. She, also, had some free time this week and offers her thoughts on how to dress this weekend. To my utter dismay, embedding is disabled (redesign coming post-Turkey Day, I swear), but pretty please click through the video. Trust me. So worth it.
Christmas Gifts = Gas Cards at KOP
I just got an email from the folks at King of Prussia Mall who are doing their best to convince shoppers that they really, really, really should buy gifts this holiday season even though the economy blows and there’s no way people are going to drop as much cash as they normally would. (Contrary to what PW thinks.) They’re offering all sorts of enticement, including a shuttle bus that will actually drive you around the mall and a special holiday section of their website with gift ideas and contests. They’re also offering gas cards when consumers purchase three $20 gift cards for King of Prussia Mall. Considering King of Prussia is the shopping mecca in this area, I’d say that’s not such a bad deal.
(So, yeah. Gas prices are way down and the average driver can fill his or her tank up for less than $25 right now. But, hey, who doesn’t love free stuff?)