Seven Reasons To Stay In and Watch Dick Clark Tonight

Oh, hey, it’s New Year’s Eve already. I’m bucking tradition this year and staying in. My fishmonger boyfriend has secured lobster tails and a very large bottle of Bailey’s is waiting for me in the fridge. If you’d rather go out, I assembled a few suggestions for our annual New Year’s Eve guide and longtime PW music writer Doug Wallen pimped some of tonight’s live shows. But, really, if you’re ever gonna stay in, I think this is the year to do it.

1. The economy sucks and while going out to stimulate the profits of local bars and clubs would be a very generous of you, it’s also going to take a huge chunk out of your savings. Cover charges, a new outfit, drinks and cab rides add up.

2. Dick Clark is 79 years old and he’s had a stroke. Dude ain’t gonna be around for much longer and who knows what will happen to his New Year’s Rockin’ Eve after he bops to the big bandstand in the sky.

3. No one will ever love Ryan Seacrest the way we love Dick Clark. Besides Clark’s Philly connection, the guy is beloved by all. Ryan Seacrest, on the other hand, is beloved by American Idol fans and people who still care about Heidi and Spencer.

4. One bottle of Grey Goose costs $26.99. For that much money, you can probably get three watered down Banker’s Club and cranberries on New Year’s Eve. Totally. Not. Worth it.

5. You forgot to buy a new little black dress. Perhaps this is just a personal problem, but since I spent 98% of the days between Thanksgiving and Christmas tossing back beers at happy hours and imbibing at holiday parties, the thought of squeezing into last year’s New Year’s dress is very unappealing. As is the thought of going shopping for a new one today.

6. This year’s musical guest is Fergie. She’s one of the most cartoonish performers of our time. Her tan is so fake, she looks like a honey-baked ham. Watching her wiggle around, lip-syncing all night will be funny. Listening to Dick Clark pretend to respect her as an artist will be even funnier.

7. You’re partied out. Between Obama and the Phillies and all-around Christmas glee, maybe New Year’s is just too little, too late.