So another Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. It’s the one day of year when all it takes to feel validated is a stupid plush bear and a carboard box full of chocolates from a local pharmacy. But you aren’t getting the mediocre chocolate or pointless little bear. You’re single.
Why not bitch about it? Who doesn’t love complaining?!
Go out to a single’s party.
Buy yourself an anti-Valentine gift.
While one of these options might help, this last suggestion is mandatory for the success of single women everywhere. It is the bible of single women. It is a best kept secret. Snuggle up with Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov, and your next Valentine’s Day you can forget about the Walgreen’s chocolate heart- you’ll have a gold lined box of Swiss chocolates delivered under a mountain of roses. Guaranteed.