CRAIGSLIST ART ROUNDUP

It’s a Twilight painting… with wolves. I know nothing about the Twilight series, because if I wanted to read about the torture of loving abstinence, Abelard and Heloise had better excuses for never shutting up about it and probably wrote better, and if I wanted vampires I’d watch some True Blood, where (I hear) at least the writers let them get it on. But why are there wolves? Are there werewolves in Twilight? Please enlighten me in the comments.

The artist doesn’t seem to think it’s strange enough to mention, so what do I know:

I created this painting in response to the twilight movie series that is sweeping the nation. It is painted in watercolor paint. It is approximately 18inches by 24inches in size. It is not framed or matted. It is simply in poster form hence the low price of the artwork. If you are interested in buying this masterpiece please contact me by e-mail.

twilight movie painting, $75.

OK, I don’t know for sure, but I think someone really awesome just died in Newtown Square, because there’s all this insane antique, craft and equestrian stuff for sale on craigslist right now and the more I see, the more I wish I had known this lady. Really old books and magazines. Craft stuff and AMAZING fabric. The Boy Scout’s guide to rifle and shotgun shooting. A million vintage postcards and buttons. EAR SNUGGIES.

There’s like 20 different posts, so I can’t link to them all, but if you search Newtown Square vintage on the for sale section, it’ll hit most of them.

So in case you don’t have time to check them all out, I’ve sampled some of the stuff for sale and made a giant collage on some awesome anonymous lady’s possessions. Please note the Mineral Wax Twins, on the bottom right, and the precursors of Heelies, below center.

Goodbye, anonymous lady. I’m pretty sure you led an awesome life.

I actually received a life-sized cardboard cutout of Humphrey Bogart (although from the Maltese Falcon, not Casablanca) as a 17th birthday present which I then brought to my freshman year dorm room. It NEVER stopped scaring the shit out of me at night when I’d wake up and see a man’s shadowy silhouette lurking in the corner, so I put it out in the hallway and it migrated around campus via drunk/stoned people, being used to startle other drunk/stoned people who would open their door and be confronted by Sam Spade. Years later, I mentioned this to a random friend from college and she was like “That was YOUR BOGART?!”

What I’m saying here is that you might regret this purchase if you’re easily startled.

74″ tall — he is a sturdy heavy statue that can go in or outside.

There is no way that this statue is both “life-sized” and 74 inches tall. Bogart was, like, 5′6″.

LIFE SIZED Humphrey BOGART Statue! – very cool! – $500

And speaking of things that are terrifying, Christ, can you imagine seeing these every day? I’d wake up, stumble towards the bathroom and suddenly be WIDE AWAKE BECAUSE THERE IS A TATTOOED LADY WITH HUGE SCARY EYES LOOKING AT ME and then curse myself again for buying that stupid painting. From the artist:

My name is Scott Rohlfs and I am a full time artist specializing in painting portrait style paintings of women with big eyes in sexy poses.

Kind of says it all.

Gorgeous Original Artwork. A Must See!!!

I actually think this has some promise, in a Bond Girl sort of way. In fact, I kind of really like it to the point where I’m considering buying it. From the seller:

REALLY NICE OLD NUDE FROM THE 1960″s

WATERCOLOR NUDE PAINTING by vincent – $50. Sadly, no further information on who vincent might be.

Sort of digging this chick, too.

antique frame w/ photorealistic portrait on tile – $45

This right here is a motherfucking EAGLE, people. Looks like a blood relative of the unibrowed Sam from the Muppets.

LARGE EAGLE LITHOGRAPH – $200

NEVER FORGET unless it’s been kind of a while and you’re changing your decor and the whole LED thing got a little played out.

Mirrored picture of New York City, the twin towers and the brooklyn bridge with LED lights. It’s in great condition except there is a small chip in one corner that is barely noticeable. I paid $150 for this about 5 years ago.

** NYC Twin towers LED light Picture for sale! ** – $85

For those who feel artwork involving big cats will melt the ladies in your life, a print:

A picture of lion by Kirl Brooks, 49cms x 74cms.

Dammit, man, even through the crappy photo quality you can see that this animal clearly has spots and is some sort of leopard/jaguar. In any event: NOT A LION.

kirl brooks print of lion – $25

Now THIS is a fucking lion.

This is the nicest print I have seen of a Lion unfortunatally I have moved to a small place with limited wall space so he must find a new home. The frame is black with gold beaded trim in a matted background. “Eminent Domain” is the title.

The Nobel King Of The Forest – $100

And another three that I could totally get behind (and am going to if they haven’t been bought yet):

We’ve unpacked our artwork from our move from Pennsylvania to Lambertville and have three portraits that we just have no place to display. In the previous house, we had a wall of portraits, of all types, from all of our travels to flea markets and antique shows from Maine to Maryland. Now, we are blessed with a place with 14 windows, but very little wall space. Perhaps you collect portraits or know someone who does? We’d love to see this painting go to someone who dabbles in art collecting as we do….

Portraits – $20 – $30

And finally…

It’s a SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!

nice statue made in Italy. in good condition. has a little gold plating rubbed off nose (check pic) retailed for 700.00 + 15yrs ago make me an offer!

porcelain and gold shark (levittown)