It’s raining, it’s pouring…
Last night I walked home from work bent over with my umbrella facing directly forward into the wind like a Spartan shield so it wouldn’t get blown inside out; it was very unpleasant. I said to myself, There must be something better than the 15-odd crappy umbrellas left at that party I threw last year where it stopped raining before everyone left but after they were too drunk to remember they had an umbrella when they arrived.
And indeed, there is! It’s odd to think about, because an umbrella is something I use more frequently than, say, most hats, heels and dresses I own, but I put almost no thought into which one to get. Here’s a few that almost cheer me up about the rain:
I am an utter sucker for the pagoda shape. I could have populated this list entirely with “Here’s the same umbrella, but this one’s yellow! And here, this one’s black!” I’m not going to, because that would be boring, but know: it’s all about this shape.
This one’s real pricey, but the company has a lifetime guarantee on its stuff, so you could pretty much just keep getting it repaired for free forever.
Signature Bella Pagoda Umbrella in mint, umbrellas.net, $96
Just watch out for pigeons.
You are here umbrella, Cabracega.
OK, these don’t actually contain blades, but having once dissuaded a drunk creepster who followed me home from my subway stop and tried to grope me by brandishing my big umbrella as a weapon, I tend to always think of mine like a sword at night anyway. Having a sword-like handle to hold would, oddly, be kind of comforting. Now if you could just put some pepper spray in the handle…
Sword handle umbrella, thinkgeek, $30
Piano Man umbrella, Modcloth, $30
I’m not kidding about pagoda-style, I can’t get enough. This vintage yellow one isn’t for sale, Bella Umbrella in (where else) Seattle rents out a ridiculously amazing selection of fancy umbrellas for weddings and whatnot.
Bella Umbrella, rental $20/day
I really like the clear bubble-type umbrellas that come down over your head. Seems very wind-proof!
Big fish umbrella, Modcloth, $28
The weird long bit covers your back from rogue gusts of wind, the front lets you see where you’re going.
MOMA Sky umbrella by Tibor Kalman, $48
OK this kind of makes me want to vomit all over this happy couple, but seriously, the other part of me’s all “Hmmmm, that actually solves a lot of problems!” But mostly vomit.
Cupid’s double umbrella, $32.18
And speaking of dubiously happy couples, here’s the opening credits of the Umbrellas of Cherbourg, because I’ve had a horrible pastiche of the sappy-ass theme and the Rihanna song stuck in my head the whole time I’ve been writing this.
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