The 10 Weirdest Phillies Merch

While I realize sports fans are a peculiar group of consumers—one willing to buy just about anything you put their favorite team’s logo on—I couldn’t believe how much ridiculous Phillies merch I came across this past week.

I mean, I’m willing to excuse some pretty eccentric gear in the sake of team spirit, but there’s a thin line between fun and flat-out stupid.

And these products crossed it…

Philadelphia Phillies Tattoo Sleeve

Yep, nothing says ‘hardcore Phils fan’ like a fake tribal tattoo.

Philadelphia Phillies Forest Face

THE TREES ARE ALIVE! AHHH!!!

MLB Philadelphia Phillies Bobo Visor

Half-man. Half-Dr. Seuss character. What a great game day look. Or you could just dye your actual hair red.

Philadelphia Phillies Garden Gnomes

If an army of Phillies gnomes doesn’t keep people off your lawn, what will?

MLB Reyn Spooner Philadelphia Phillies Scenic Button-Down Shirt

For the love of God, please don’t buy this shirt for your father.

MLB Kleen Kit

Because on game day, name brand hand sanitizer just won’t do—it needs to have a Phillies sticker on it.

Philadelphia Phillies Eye Black

Funnier than the product itself is this photo…and the disclaimer: “Not for competitive use or reducing light glare.”

Philadelphia Phillies Extension Hair Clips

Unless you’re under 12 years of age, this is absolutely unacceptable.

Philadelphia Phillies Mascot Wall Hooks

Really, they couldn’t find a more appropriate place to put the hook?

Philadelphia Phillies ARMagnet

Oh wait, that’s not her real arm? You totally got me! But seriously though, this has to be the dumbest of them all.