- Bathe in vinegar.
- Watch an entire Keeping Up With The Kardashians marathon.
- Vote for Mitt Romney.
- Befriend a tarantula.
- Make sweet, sweet love to Gilbert Godfrey.
- Get a tribal tattoo.
- Get a tribal tattoo on my lower back.
- Join the Church of Scientology.
- Eat five pounds of bologna in one sitting.
- Wear a Cowboys jersey to an Eagles game.
Unfortunately, they were about $130, which is probably as much as I’ve spent on shoes the past three years. So I just picked my tongue up off my desk, put it back into my mouth and clicked out of the Web site.
Sometimes late at night I still find myself fantasizing about them—what they’d look like on my feet, how many outfits I could wear with them, what sort of compliments they’d elicit from strangers, ect.
Yet, I fear my chance of owning them has passed as they’ve become nearly impossible to find online. I can only hope that by writing this post, somehow, fate will find a way to bring us together one day.
Until then, there’s always my dreams.