I’ve been getting a steady stream of emails since the beginning of January about all the different Valentine’s-related happenings going on around town. And while I ignored most, I did hold on to the ones that sounded particularly interesting, quirky or just flat out eccentric.
Here’s the 12 events I was left with…
Bad Cupid: An Anti-Valentine’s Cabaret: For everyone who can’t get down a greeting card isle this time of the year without wanting to puke, Diversion Productions is bringing back their raunchy 2011 hit show with new songs and characters to shit all over the same lame holiday. Rich Lee reprises his role of the jaded, chain-smoking, binge-drinking and porn-loving cherub of love. Wed/13, 8pm. $15. L2, 2201 South St.
Robot-Human Theater: That’s right, this innovative performance by internationally acclaimed playwright and director Oriza Hirata features acting robots. And given that the production’s two-night run is so close to V-Day, the folks behind Live Arts/Fringe festival are offering a special “CupidBot” package, which includes not only two tickets, but gourmet chocolates, a rose and two glasses of champagne. Fri/15, 8pm. $75. Christ Church, 20 N. American St.
Valentine Craft Sunday: If you’re attached, give your Valentine a handmade shout out, on T Mom’s “Wall of Sweethearts.” If you’re single and bitter, partake in a little revenge crafting and showcase your evil ex on their “Wall of Broken Hearts.” Either way, you’ll enjoy half priced drafts from 5-7 p.m and 10-11 p.m. Sun/10, 12pm-2am. Free. Tattooed Mom, 530 South St.
Phreak N Queer Valentine Karaoke Fundrasier: Whether it’s a solo or duet, host Sara Sherr of Sing Your Life Karaoke just wants you to come out and sing and help her raise some cash for the Phreak N Queer Art and Music Festival going down in August. Admission includes a free drink and the following night, Tabu will also be hosting a “Love Hangover” dance party. Thurs/14, 8-10pm. $5. Tabu Lounge & Sports Bar, 200 S. 12th St.
Blow Me A Kiss!: Sure to leave lovers feeling a little raunchy, Philly’s premiere neo-burlesque troupe, Peek-A-Boo Revue twirls their tassels with some of their tried and true crowd pleasers as well as a few brand new treats. Fri/8, 8pm. $20. The Troc, 1003 Arch St.
Cupid’s Undie Run 2013: A bunch of people strip down to their skivvies and take roughly a mile-long jog around the Art Museum for a good cause: The Children’s Tumor Foundation. Afterwards, everyone puts their clothes back on and seeks shelter inside one of the many fine watering-holes along Fairmount Avenue. Sat/9, 2pm. $30. Urban Saloon, 2120 Fairmount Ave.
Til Death Do Us Part: The Love Stories of Laurel Hill: During this hour-long walking tour, you’ll hear tales of undying romances as well as sorted stories of betrayal. When all is said and done, you and your mate can cozy up fireside and enjoy wine, hot chocolate and d’oeuvres. Sat/9, 1pm. $18-$20. Laurel Hill Cemetery, 3822 Ridge Ave.
A Valentine’s Day MixMassacre: Perfect for punk-rocking pairs of all ages, this deafening music showcase has five underground bands on the bill including, Man World Order, The Final Statement, Of Dukes & Capulets, Here & Gone and Seany Hags & Spark Up Music. Thurs/14, 7pm. $8-$10. The Troc, 1003 Arch St.
Second Stories Presents: Love is a Battlefield: Really, you can’t ask for a more romantic setting than the intimate, smoky second floor bar at The Dive. And just incase the various doodles of male and female genitalia covering the walls don’t get ya in the mood, several funny locals are going to tell you true stories of great romantic victory and defeat. Tues/12, 7pm. Free. The Dive, 947 E. Passyunk Ave.
pOrnithnology: The Birds and the Bees and the Bees: Have you ever wondered what bird foreplay is like? Well, George Armistead from the American Birding Association is going to tell you. In fact, you’ll learn all sorts of interesting things about the unusual mating rituals of various bird species. Should you and your own mate be looking to spice things in the bedroom, perhaps you’ll learn a few new tricks. Wed/13, 5:30-7pm. Free. The Wagner Free Institute of Science, 1700 W. Montgomery Ave.
Valen-Zine Reading: Should you be seeking a more creative V-Day outing, four talented local zinesters will be discussing the things, people and places that they love the most. The featured zines include “Tazewell’s Favorite Eccentric” by Sarah Rose and “Beer Jawn” by Bibliophile which traces his experience learning about different beers as an atypical Philly beer drinker. Thurs/14, 6pm. Free. Wooden Shoe Books, 624 South St.
Moonshine & Valentine’s: Recreating the sultry vibe of a 1920s speakeasy, the center will be serving up whisky cocktails, beer and a decant dinner menu followed by equally decadent desserts like red velvet cupcakes and chocolate-covered strawberries. As for the evening’s entertainment, besides gaining access to the center’s current Prohibition exhibit, guests will be treated to live jazz music and special cabaret performances featuring hits from Broadway’s Chicago. Come dressed for the occasion as you and your mate will also have a chance to strike a pose in front of a 20s-era backdrop. Thurs/14, 5:30-8:30pm. $30-$35. Constitution Center, 525 Arch St.