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30-Second Reviews: TSO at Wells Fargo Center and “Grudge Match”


Trans-Siberian Orchestra at Wells Fargo Center
Sat., Dec. 21.
Overall vibe: Heartwarming Christmas-themed visuals and storytelling to progressive arena-style rock.
Most memorable moment: One word: Pyrotechnics.
Scene stealer: That same word. In fact, the heat from the flames could be felt in the floor seats up to 50 feet away. The artistry involved in designing—and yes, orchestrating—that kind of fuel-filled extravaganza was extremely impressive, even more so than the sounds and spectacle of the TSO itself.

grudge match
Grudge Match, starring Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone and Kevin Hart
Opens in local theaters Christmas Day.
Overall vibe: Color me shocked! The rapidly paced writing, perfect for these two old wise guys, really made this geriatric boxing movie quite funny. And it’s set in Pittsburgh, so there’s that.
Most memorable moment: The quick-drawn cell phone frenzy. If outlaws in the Wild West drew their revolvers as quickly as people whip out their phones to capture a fight, the American population would be a lot smaller today.
Scene stealer: Kim Basinger is still gorgeous. And not in that “She’s had work” way, but in the “actual good living and fabulous bone structure” way. Also? Kevin fucking Hart. I’ll admit, I was bit of a hater at first, even by Philadelphians’ standards, but this guy is freaking hysterical as local promoter Dante Slate. So glad he’s one of us.

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