Valentine’s Day Dos and Don’ts
DO send valentines the lazy way by sending a sassy e-card to whomever you adore.
DON’T assume that the holiday justifies tacky heart accessories that NEVER look cool on anyone over the age of six.
DO go out with a gal pal for margaritas if a date doesn’t pan out.
DON’T go out with the “nice dude” you totally aren’t into just for the hell of it. (Unless you want non-stop rambly phone messages, whiny emo ballad mix CDs you never asked for, and that creepy kind of nervous habit characteristic of female characters in Lifetime movies who peek around door frames to assure dude isn’t lurking around the corner with a bouquet of her favorite flowers.) The bottom line: if you try and make it into something it’s not, you’ll have a story to contribute to this fine work of chick lit.
DO send a mass text. Apparently tomorrow will be a record breaking day for mobile messaging. SRSLY! And by mass text, I’m assuming you already know to take your douchey ex out of the list of recipients.
DON’T sit through a date with a text-er. LAME.
We’ve got a thing / that’s called bacon love!
Bacon Love!
Any Golden Earring fans out there? No? OK, pay no attention to the title of this post.
Valentine’s Day is coming up, and what’s that, you say? It’s a stupid holiday that cheapens and commodifies love and if you hear Jerry Robbins say “Yeah!” one more goddamn time you’re going to send first the radio and then yourself to a watery, dye-infused grave at the bottom of the LOVE Park fountain?
Well, I’m kind of with you on that one, but I have located something that might be appreciated even by a staunch anti-Valentine’s activist. It is a heart… a heart of bacon.
Mike Geno, a Philly artist who teaches at Moore (and who we’ve mentioned before), makes these gorgeous still lifes and prints of cuts of raw meat. I’ve been wanting to get three and put them in my kitchen forever (unfortunately my kitchen lacks appropriate wall space right now). This is the first time I’ve seen this particular entry in the series; the heart shape is a step away from the straightforward still life treatment applied to the lamb chops, beef cubes and ribs in his previous work.
So take it from Robbins: When the question is “Do you love bacon more than you loathe Valentine’s Day?” there’s only one answer: Buy her a diamond! I mean, no, the answer is “I love bacon more.” Love ftw!
Bacon Love is 8×10 and $20; it and other prints by Geno can be found at (off the top of my head) Art Star, Geno’s etsy store and Mew Gallery.