How I learned to stop worrying and love the boob
OR: Telling Emily G that she has great breasts will guarantee a sale. Keep it in mind, salespeople of Philadelphia!
FIRSTLY: If you’re on the A-Team or the chairman of the itty bitty titty committee, Coeur is having a lingerie for small women trunk show this Saturday.
Now, I would like to step right up and testify: Coeur is awesome. Here is the story of how I became fine with having a stranger manipulate my boobs and learned how to put on a bra properly:
Top Ta-Tas
Last night was the season finale of Top Chef. It’s been an extremely lackluster season with no truly remarkable contestants, which is why there’s been little mention of it here. However, last’s night episode was interesting.
It went down like this: Blah, blah, food, past season stars, drama, OH! A twist!, famous chefs, a fallen souffle, tears, a cranky British guy, boobs, boobs, boobs, the Shmoo wins.
Right now, we’re going to focus on just one aspect of this recap: Boobs. Specifically, guest judge Gail Simmons’.
In this episode, the Food & Wine editor decided that it’d be entirely appropriate to wear an ill-fitting, low-cut dress that showed an, um, excessive amount of cleavage. Or perhaps we’re being prudish here. You be the judge. As one colleague joked, “In this shot, her boobs are so licious, they’re busting onto the screen.”
In Gail’s defense, she did have on a very supportive bra. Which we could see. Nice demi-cup.
And she clearly subscribes to the “up high and close together” rule when purchasing undergarments (as opposed to “lift and separate”).
Gail, we love you, but c’mon. Have a little class.
Special thanks to Paul and DMac for hunting down pictures.