eat your pet
So the latest diet fad allegedly whirling around Hollywood is… wait for it… Chia. The ch-ch-ch kind.
Says some extremely reputable anonymous writer over at social workout:
One of my favorite L.A. friends is a comedian/actress. She jokes a lot about being a little anorexic—someone just gave her a gift certificate to the pricey Wolfgang Puck restaurant Cut, and she only ordered the side dishes. She works out like a maniac at Equinox, and is an early adapter to diet fads. “She’s eating Chia Pets now,” her boyfriend told me over a recent dinner, consisting mainly of salad. She blazed through Goji berries, Acai, Kombucha. Now she’s on to Chia Seeds, the things that make Chia Pets sprout.
“Chia” is the common name for salvia hispanica, which is kind of a cousin to flax and mint. Turns out that that weird gummy paste that happens when you mix the seeds with water that sticks the seeds to the side of whatever terracotta animal is allegedly incredibly good for you.
Quotes from pro-chia websites that should answer all of one’s questions about the chia diet:
The seed’s hydrophilic (water absorbing) saturated cells hold the water, so when it is mixed with foods, it displaces calories and fat without diluting flavor.
OK, I don’t really know what law of physics would make that happen, but tell me more! It’s probably Bohr’s Law or Behr’s Law or something. But how about gunshot wounds?
There are additional benefits from the Chia seed aside from the nutritive enhancements when used as an ingredient. It was also used by the Indians and missionaries as a poultice for gunshot wounds and other serious injuries. They would pack the wounds with Chia seeds to avoid infections and promote haling. If you place a seed or two in your eyes it will clean your eyes and will also help to clear up any infections.
Oh, cool? So, you put the seeds in a glass of water, and then it turns into this jello-type stuff you drink, or pack into gunshot wounds, but mostly drink, and then…
Because of Chia’s capacity to absorb large amounts of liquid, fiber can increase the volume of the stool mass passing through our digestive tract. As a result, the stool becomes softer and more voluminous, stimulating the intestinal transit.
Oh, uh… voluminous, eh?
This reduces its the length of time in the digestive tract, which assists with regulating bowel movement and could help prevent constipation, diverticulitis and even colon cancer.
So how long could the average Aztec go on a spoonful of chia?
A single tablespoon could sustain Aztec warriors for an entire day.
On top of everything else, here’s an article on chia fields in western Australia and the captioned picture that came with it:
Over a very short period of time, the Ord Valley has become the world's largest producer of chia (Matt Brann)
And of course this is the only thing I could think of:
Over a very short period of time, the Ord Valley has become the world's largest procuder of chia
Chia seeds are currently going from $5-$20/bag.
And OK, here’s the commercial.
And here’s what the company is marketing as Hail to the Ch-ch-ch-chief, no joke (warning, this website is highly annoying and has sound ads):
