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Let’s talk about the Grammys

Grammys-2014
Pharrell wore dumb hats; Daft Punk cleaned up, and Bucks County got shouted out by LL in his opening monologue.

We’re in the thick of it now. All the award shows are happening, and they make for great Sunday night drinking buddies. For instance, the Golden Globes two Sundays ago were great fun, mostly because of the dazzling Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Their opening monologue was killer, and sadly, they weren’t able to deliver much comedy after the grand opening. The show, though, felt short and sweet. Not even close to the tired, three-and-a-half hour affair that CBS put up last night.

The Grammy Awards are much less about the host and the presenters, but all about the “once-in-a-lifetime” (they’re not) performance combinations and the winners of this purportedly prestigious award. Like we mentioned in our between-nominations-and-awards breakdown, there’s room for improvement in the who-wins and who-gets-nominated departments.

Certainly, a tone was set with Beyonce’s “Drunk In Love” opening. And that tone was she runs this town. Well, she and her husband. Jamie Foxx made really awkward jokes of a sexual nature, even admitting said awkwardness because he brought his 20-year-old daughter as his date, as he presented the award for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration (that Jay Z won for “Holy Grail“). If we were to nitpick, which we are sometimes wont to do, it was a touch disappointing that Bey wasn’t singing live (or at least, not until her husband joined her onstage). She was definitely using a live-sung backing track, kind of like she did when she sang at Obama’s inauguration, but she made the choice to focus on being wet and dancing provocatively and suggestively, and that’s okay sometimes. Pitchfork posted the performance almost immediately after it aired, and you should’ve seen the haters trash it on the site’s Facebook stream. Seems like there are still tons of people who are unwilling to admit that we are just living in Bey’s world.

Lorde’s the big winner for a human in the business that doesn’t seem already-spoiled by riches and fame. Her win for Song of the Year felt momentous. So did her performance; it was a little bizarre, but (for the most part) in a good way. She was definitely giving off some Wednesday Addams vibes with long, straight black hair, pail skin and a very dark, almost black lip. She also had a creepy velociraptor vibe percolating with stiffly-angled arms and metal-capped fingertips. It seemed like she was destined for mean things to be said about her on Twitter, but her acceptance speeches (she also won for Best Pop Solo Performance) were charmingly modest, even for a hunchy 17-year-old.

Probably the biggest story is the gay one. Macklemore cleaned up. And when he performed “Same Love” with Mary Lambert, Queen Latifah came out (on stage) and officiated 33 marriages, some same-sex and some hetero, only for 55-year-old Madonna to open a faux door and start yodeling “Open Your Heart.” It was pretty awful. The premise is all there. Very sweet. Everyone’s equal. Love is love. But Queen La refuses to talk about her own seemingly queer inclinations (she has participated in Out fests and lauds the merits of same-sex marriage, but vehemently denies access to her own sexual preference). In fact, the post-performance press conference that aired on E!, where she gets pelted with questions along these lines, was downright painful to watch.

And that doesn’t even begin to express the hate we have for the Grammys for letting The Heist beat out every single rap nomination of the night. Literally, dude beat Kendrick Lamar in every category they shared and then went on to Instagram an apology/admission of confusion that Lamar won nothing. “Thrift Shop” won Best Rap Song and Best Rap Performance. Sure seems like maybe the Grammy turds were trying to slap Macklemore on the back with a “NICE ONE!” But he’s straight, brought his fiancee and (perhaps hacked) seemed ebullient that he was in fact completely heterosexual.

Oh, yeah—those living Beatles (Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr) were trotted out in a super-boring and long-winded fashion. Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson were charming but stiff together. Kacey Musgraves was adorable in twinkly-lit cowboy boots and neon landscaping (she won for Best Country Song and Best Country Album). Imagine Dragons were super-hyped to share the stage with Kendrick’s flows, but it felt like a hip-hop/metal hybrid that harkened back to Nickelback days, which were really scary times. The evil Metallica, seemingly in tribute to Lou Reed (introduced by the cheesy-ass Jared Leto), turned in a mystifying performance of “One.” Remember Lulu? And the eye-crossing combination of Lindsay Buckingham, Dave Grohl, Trent Reznor and Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme got cut off because the show ran long, and the honest-to-goodness recreation of the second night of last summer’s Made in America (replete with the same visual effects for both NIN’s and QOTSA’s sets) became a controversial finish to a resoundingly obnoxious night of pop culture pageantry.



Starlets Rocked Some Snazzy Manicures at the Golden Globes

If you didn’t watch Sunday’s red carpet coverage at the 70th Annual Golden Globes or, more specifically, E!’s “Mani Cam,” then you probably missed out on one small, but important detail of Hollywood’s leading ladies’ overall looks: their cuticles.

Zooey Deschanel

zoey_deschanelI feel like Zooey is the reason they created a Mani Cam in the first place.

Kelly Osbourne

kelly_osbourne

These might just be my personal fave.

Jennifer Lopez

jlo

Wow, she really isn’t a fan of subtly, is she?

Kerry Washington

kerry_washington

Simple yet chic.

Nicole Richie

nicole_richie_nails

Didn’t like the dress but, I like the blue/dark grey contrast.



Waltz Like Bradley Cooper

silver linings playbook

Last week, the Jenkintown native and undeniable super-hunk officially nabbed himself the Oscar nom for his role in the critically acclaimed and locally filmed, Silver Linings Playbook. And while Cooper might have beaten by Daniel Day Lewis on Sunday at the Golden Globes (which is almost guaranteed to happened again at the Academy Awards), he has been successful in inspiring locals to take up ballroom dancing.

As you’ve may have briefly noticed in the film’s trailer, Cooper’s character, Pat, competes in a ballroom competition at a “local hotel” alongside his equally unstable love interest, played by Jennifer Lawrence (who did shock everybody when she took home the 2013 Golden Globe for “Best Actress.”).

According to Society Hill Dance Academy owner, Shana Vitoff-Heidorn, since the film hit theaters, enrollment in her introductory ballroom classes has shot up a whopping 50 percent.

“We have been pleasantly surprised by the renewed interest in ballroom dancing, especially the Waltz,” says Vitoff-Heidorn, adding that this interest has been shared by Philadelphians of all different ages.

Should you yourself want to steal Cooper’s moves, SHDA has several upcoming open “Social Ease” classes at both their Center City (409 S. Second St.) and Manayunk (4401 Cresson St.). Although the waltz is the easiest ballroom dance for beginners to master, SHDA also covers salsa, the cha-cha, tango and fox trot. Best of all, these classes are open everyone—no partner or reservation required.



Recap: The WitOut Awards For Philly Comedy

witout_awards1The glitz, the glamor, the gags—the 2013 WitOut Awards for Philadelphia Comedy had it all.

Held for the second year by the local comedy blog, WitOut.net downstairs at World Café Live, the event is basically the only chance comedians in this town have to receive a snazzy golden plaque and legitimate recognition for their hard work and talent. You know, given how incredibly undervalued comedy is as an art form. 

This year, those snazzy gold plaques were awarded in a total of 13 different categories, not counting the ridiculous and totally made-up pre-show awards, which included “Most Exorbitant Ticket Fee” (Winner: the 2013 WitOut Awards) and “Most Embarrassed By His Delco Roots (Winner: Jim Grammond).

Following the traditional award show format, the ceremony opened with a song and dance number from Samantha Brown & The Grimacchio Dancers along with the evening’s co-hosts, Jason Grimley and Ralph Andracchio aka. Grimacchio. Not only did the platonic improvisational life partners prove to have surprisingly very lovely singing voices, but they did a stellar job keeping the show in check. And, of course, they did it all without a teleprompter (take that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey!).

Whether scripted or spontaneous, the night’s presenters and winners all brought their A-Game. Perhaps the most memorable acceptance speeches were that of Jess Ross who accepted the award for “Best Female Improviser” by kindly telling everyone who wronged her in elementary school to go fuck themselves and Mary Radzinksi who accepted the award for “Special Achievement in the Field of Tweeting” in only 140 characters.witout_awards2

Other highlights from the show: the squad of puppet police that chased John Kensil and Dr. Moody off the stage, the brief and tender kiss between Luke Field and Brian Kelly, the heated quarrel between improv duo Kait & Andrew, the mere presence of the Narragansett Tall Boy mascot, and the newly appointed house band, Philadelphia Slick who brought the funk all night long.

Having correctly predicted or voted for 9 out of the 13 winners, I can’t say there were any big shockers, except for The Feeko Brothers taking home the award for “Best Sketch Group” for the second time (I thought for sure this was going to be Secret Pants’ year).

As for the red carpet fashions, well, you’d be surprised just how well comedians clean up. My picks for the night’s best-dressed would have to go to Fastball Pitcher Bob Gutierrez who came donning his usual oh-so constricting short-shorts and knee-high socks and the sketch comedy mavens of ManiPedi who made cornrows look dammnn good.

Anyway, without further adieu, I present the complete list of 2013 WitOut Award winners:

BEST STAND-UP COMEDIANAaron Hertzog
BEST SKETCH GROUPThe Feeko Brothers
BEST IMPROV GROUPAsteroid!
BEST STAND-UP BITFirst Guy in the World/Netflix (Aaron Hertzog)
BEST SKETCHMystery Science Andre 3000 (Camp Woods)
BEST MALE IMPROVISERLuke Field
BEST FEMALE IMPROVISERJess Ross
BEST REGULAR SHOWCamp Woods Plus
BEST SHORT-RUN/ONE-TIME SHOWThe Improvised B-Movie Double Feature (Asteroid!)
BEST PODCAST/WEB SERIESGettin’ Close with Mike Marbach
SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT IN THE FIELD OF TWEETINGMary Radzinski (@MaryRadzinski)
BEST OPEN MICSketch Up or Shut Up
BEST NEW ACTDavenger

**Photos courtesy of Erin Pitts



2013 Golden Globes: Best & Worst Dressed

Given the array of show-stopping looks showcased on the red carpet at last year’s Golden Globes, I really can’t believe just how lackluster, unoriginal and all-around blah the fashions were last night. Thank God there were at least a few diamonds in the rough…

BEST DRESSED

3rd Place: Jennifer Lopez

jennifer-lopezOnly J-Lo. Had anyone else attempted to pull this dress off, they probably would have failed miserably.

2nd Place: Taylor Swift

taylor_swift_golden_globesFrom the dramatic eye and unique side-swept up-do to the stunning amethyst dangling earrings, this is really just head-to-toe perfection.

1st Place: Kate Hudson

kate-hudsonThis embroidered, keyhole Alexander McQueen dress was hands down the most “wow” dress of the evening. It’s also the perfect combo of simple and dramatic.

WORST DRESSED

Jessica Chastain

jessica-chastainEven if this dress actually fit her correctly and didn’t have so much fabric just inexplicably sagging around her breasts, the slick-back would have ruined it. It’s a shame because this baby blue color looks so beautiful on her.

Halle Berry

halle-berryDoes she think she’s at a party in Miami circa 1998?

Anne Hathaway

anne-hathawayAll it would have taken is a pair of emerald statement earrings and an emerald cocktail ring and she would have been on my best dressed list.

Heidi Klum/Katherine McPhee/Lea Michele/Eva Longoria

slits_goldenglobesSeriously, if I saw one more starlet’s leg hanging out of her dress from a crotch-high slit, I was going to scream.



Remnants 12/15

L to R: Missoni, Nicole Miller, Badgley Mischka

L to R: Missoni, Nicole Miller, Badgley Mischka

—Designers take a stab at a wedding dress for royal bride-to-be Kate Middleton. Seriously, a stab, some of them totally murdered this project. WWD

—The President’s House officially opens to the public today in Independence Mall, by the Liberty Bell. For the full story on the newest addition to the mall, check out the Inky’s comprehensive reporting. Philadelphia Inquirer

—Uh oh Gossip Girl lovers, looks like Leighton Meester’s ready to move on. She claims she’s leaving the show in two years…but what will we do without Blair Waldorf? MTV.com

—If only this spoof commercial for an Ugg vaccine were real. Only then would winter be truly beautiful again. Huffington Post

—Get sauced with Santa tonight along East Passyunk Avenue. A pub crawl in the spirit of the season commences at 6 p.m. UWISHUNU

—Consistently chipper designer Jonathan Adler opened his newest boutique Monday, right here in Philadelphia. Get into his “happy chic” in Old City now. Brownstoner

—The Golden Globes nominations are in and chatter about who should and should not have been included has  begun. The New York Times weighs in. NYTimes



Glenn Close will eat you for breakfast

KillerClose

Seriously though, I’m all about being in shape/toned/healthy but whoa nelly mama you are RIPPED! For a nice slide show round-up of Golden Globe red carpet dresses grouped by color scheme check out NYTIMES.COM


amanda | Jan 20 2010 5:54pm | FASHION, roundups, wtf?, Glenn Close, golden globes | Comments 0

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