Whitney Houston wants to dance with somebody.
Someone smack me: after 48 straight hours of humming this 80’s gem, I need some help. So what if I was three when this song was on the radio? I heard it on Saturday, and (–no thanks to my boyfriend!) it’s been lodged in my little brain like something cute and furry, hibernating, ever since.
After attempting to sing this in the shower, I realized that… I, um, don’t know all the lyrics. So, like any tune-savvy girl scout, I found the video on youtube (because, sadly, I don’t own this musical masterpiece…) and then watched the video 5 times straight.
Watching this again and again has NOTHING to with memorizing lyrics at this point; it has EVERYTHING to do with being hypnotized by her totally insane hair and makeup in the video. I think I’m high from the waves of Aqua Net wofting around her crown of wavy polymer hairpieces as she’s shakin’ it in her shoulder pads. Have I mentioned I think her eyeshadow resembles every nerf gun and pool toy I owned in elementary school? Jesus, I need some sunglasses: this woman is entirely out of control in her rainbowbrite get-up and it’s not pretty.
Good lord, Whitney– I don’t care about the coke: it’s this that makes me want to shake you… and then hug you… because you totally rule.
Uploaded by whitney08. – Family events, birthdays and parenting videos.
Yeah, I’d dance with you.
Rappers better run and hide ’cause here comes the Beehive
These comic book step-by-step instructions for giving yourself a beehive kind of make me wish I hadn’t chopped off two feet of hair in a fit of boredom. I’m sorry for throwing you away before I did anything fun with you, hair. I didn’t treat you right.
R Session’s Pin-up girl kit, $21.99, comes with an instruction manual and a whole bunch of stuff so you can give yourself either the beehive or the slightly less voluminous “perfect ponytail” or “super chic bun.” Most of the stuff is pretty normal (brush, bobby pins, clips, elastics, etc.) with the exception of the hair bun, which is the weird macaroni-shaped thing in the top panel that you may have been wondering about. It apparently poofs the whole thing up.
P.S. Queen Bee, why did you have to go and be on Dancing With the Stars like that
A Great Escape
Don’t get me wrong, I adore the ever-glittering charm of my lovely city of Philadelphia, but doesn’t it feel so small sometimes? Like, you go out and you are eyeing up a dude and your friend interjects, “Oh, no. I know a girl who hooked up with him and blah blah blah.” Later, you see someone else and he just happens to be your co-worker’s ex boyfriend’s brother who’s also apparently a total sceez. Sometimes you just want to go out and not know anybody, to have the opportunity to make a bad decision and never even realize it. This can be accomplished quite simply with minimal planning. So why not? Make a run to Brooklyn for a weekend!
In addition to anonymity, here are some other reasons why:
Amazing Vintage/Consignment Shopping.
And finally, the BEST MOST AMAZING EDGIEST SWEETEST INCREDIBLE HAIRCUT YOU WILL EVER GET IN YOUR LIFE. Just ask for Astro … and sing my praises later for the coolest recommendation you have ever received.