What Mean Girls taught me about Halloween
Karen: Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady: It’s Halloween!
Mean Girls is one of my favorite movies. There– I said it! Hilariously written and directed, it stars a then-teen ‘It Girl’ Lindsay Ho-Han (pre-public deterioration) and has amazing comedic supporting roles by Rachel McAdams (The Notebook, The Time-Traveler’s Wife), Lacey Chabert (Party of Five), Lizzy Caplan (Freaks and Geeks, True Blood), Amanda Seyfried (Mamma Mia), Neil Flynn (Scrubs), Amy Poehler (Upright Citizens Brigade, SNL) and– the one and only — Tina Fey.
Fey, who also wrote the script, touched on an amazingly accurate unwritten rule of “Girl World” about Halloween: “In the real world, Halloween is a night when children dress up in costumes and beg for candy. In “Girl World”, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. Unfortunately, no one told me about the slut rule.”
I’ll go ahead and say that in some ends of pop culture, this rule isn’t just for high school. Don’t believe me? Go to any state college campus or Old City this weekend. In honor of Emily G’s Unnecessarily Sexy Halloween Costume Roundup, I’ve decided to share a favorite scene. Enjoy:
Bubble Tea: oh no you didn’t.
Ah, this article I found online could not sum up my new found frustrations about a summertime fav any better. Let me give you the not-so-skinny: a single serving of bubble tea can be close to 400 calories.
HOLD UP. Um, what kind of bomb did you just drop?! Seriously, bubble tea– you’ve screwed with me big time… so what, are you going to tell me you’re pregnant next?! Get out of my sight.
If you haven’t caught on, a single serving of bubble tea is nearly double the calories I thought it was. Oh gee, I’m so glad I’ve unknowingly downed an additional count of my daily caloric intake by hanging out at the T-bar writing articles this week. I suddenly understand how Regina feels in Mean Girls after consuming a month supply of kalteen bars.
Is butter a carb?
So where are all the calories? Well, I mean, bubble tea is ultimately just iced tea, milk, honey and tapioca balls. That doesn’t sound so destructive, right? Well, it turns out that there’s a boat load of hidden calories in the tapioca balls. I don’t know what the hell I though tapioca was, but the answer is that it’s simply a one-way ticket to the next pant size up. Each little pearl contains almost 10 calories… and if you go somewhere with a generous sized cup, you could be consuming 25-40 pearls at once… and if you do some mental math, you pretty much just consumed 1/4 of your daily caloric intake with no warning.
It’s a classic case of a wolf in sheep’s clothes.
I understand that all good things should be considered in moderation, but my twice a week treat has left me feeling had. I’m onto you, bubble tea.