What happened to Andrae?
THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT THE MOST RECENT EPISODE OF PROJECT RUNWAY.
For whatever reason, I’m a freak about avoiding spoilers for television and movies I haven’t seen, but I love love love reading others opinions after I’ve already seen them. I tend to go on rottentomatoes after seeing a movie to check out the reviews, and I (somewhat shamefully) really like reading TV recaps, especially of fashion-ish competition shows like Project Runway and America’s Next Top Model.
It’s kind of hard to know where to find decent recaps aside from Television Without Pity, though, as everyone and their father recaps Project Runway and most of them tend to be short and poorly thought out.
I was therefore delighted to notice that Lifetime, the show’s new owner, has been keeping Chris March (season 4), Nick Verreos (season 2) and Andrae Gonzalo (season 2 + countless renditions of “WHAT HAPPENED TO AHHHNDRAE?”) locked in their website’s basement writing recaps of this season. It’s especially neat because the nondisclose agreement on former contestants apparently only lasts for a few years, and the guys are now allowed to talk about specifics from their own experience filming the show, which is super interesting.
Chris March is hands-down the funniest; he’s on-point and fond of similes, my all-time favorite figures of speech:
The models come in and put on their pregnancy pads, each one looking something like a pool cue that swallowed a basketball.
But these guys weren’t hired because they’re hilarious writers (even though March legitimately is), they were hired for their insider status. And having been on the show does let them share some stuff on meta-reality that the average watcher might not have thought about.
Andrae, for example, sympathizes with ex-addict and frequent crier Johnny, who was widely crucified last week for fabricating a story about how his dress was ruined by a rogue steamer when he had in fact scrapped it and started over after a terrible critique from Tim Gunn:
Contrary to popular belief, the hardest part of participating on a reality television show is not the loss of privacy, but rather the adherence to the truth that is demanded of you when all of your behavior is documented on video. It’s Truth 2.0, essentially. …
Under the policies of Truth 2.0, honesty is no longer the best policy. You must also tell the truth. Using steam to shape a dress made out of paper is not a crazy idea; paper is a cellulosic fiber, so it should be respond to steaming, but also be vulnerable to it. However, regardless of the level of honesty Johnny’s steaming story possesses, it is not the truth about why he discarded his first dress and rushed to design another in the last minute instead.
“Honestly,” even if he suffered some horrible mishap in the workroom, the “Truth” is that Johnny’s convictions for his designs crumble under the pressure of critique, and his subsequent design statements serve to accommodate what his sewing lacks in virtuosity.
Some might say, “Well, of course he’s empathetic, Andrae was his season’s notorious crier.” But after reading that NY Times article on how reality competition shows throw enormous amounts of stress and liquor at their contestants for the exact purpose of making them cry and snap at each other, I’m a bit more sympathetic, too. According to the former Project Runway contestants quoted in the article, the filming is an unrelenting series of 18-hour workdays with most contestants getting around four hours of sleep a night.
It doesn’t seem like Lifetime is using these three in the best way; the three blogs are buried deep in the official Project Runway site and aren’t easy to stumble across by chance; I don’t think it’s just me being incompetent either, as their recaps seem to average two or three comments rather than the dozens or hundreds that can be found on FourFour or TWOP.
But seriously, if you’re keeping up with Project Runway, stick these three on your RSS reader. They’re pretty fascinating.
And since after writing this post I needed to watch it anyway, here’s What Happened to Andrae?/Santino’s elaborate imagined date between Andrae and Tim Gunn at Red Lobster. It’s interesting to watch it with the knowledge that these people haven’t had a good night’s sleep in two weeks. Sadly, it would appear that Bravo and Lifetime’s recent legal fight hasn’t stopped the show’s lawyers from tracking down every non-crappy-quality clip of this that exists on youtube:
Incidentally, the present-day answer to the question “What happened to Ahhhndrae?” Is “He grew a HUGE MUSTACHE.”
Oh Hells Yes: Project Runway To Return This Summer
Joyous news! After months of litigation, money hungry TV execs have finally come to an agreement over reality supershow Project Runway. The show will air on the Lifetime network this summer. Entertainment Weekly has all the legal jargon and press quotes from bigwigs like Harvey Weinstein, if you’re into that sort of thing. Personally, I’m just into this video from season two. Maybe Daniel Franco will triumphantly return in season six. What? A girl can dream, can’t she?
Project Runway Alum Uses a Cat as a Weapon
This is an actual, honest-to-goodness story from TMZ about Kenley Collins, the super-annoying, not-really-that-talented Project Runway loser from last season.
One of the most memorable — and hated — finalists from Project Runway is behind bars right now for allegedly fashioning a weapon out of a living, breathing, meowing cat … and firing it at her ex-fiance!
Kenley Collins—the trash-talking, third place loser from P.R. Season 5— was arrested in a Brooklyn home early yesterday morning, after the D.A. claims she attacked her sleeping ex-fiance with anything she could get her hands on—including a cat, a laptop, several apples and finally … water. It’s like a design challenge turned violent!
It’s unclear what started the fight, but according to legal papers Kenley told her ex, “You’re lucky … it could’ve been a lot worse.”
Kenley was arrested and charged with six crimes — including 2nd degree assault, 3rd degree assault and criminal possession of a weapon in the 4th degree.
No word on when Kenley is set to be released from jail.
So, to recap. She used a CAT. As a WEAPON.
If You’ll Be Bundled Up Inside Tonight …
Get wonderfully inspired by the amazing blog, Come Spy With Me, created by the ladies at Grasshopper, one of Philly’s most fabulous boutiques. This photo collection of classic beauty will keep you coming back for more daily!
Bask in the tears and hilarity of American Idol’s Hollywood Week, and at the same time be particularly peeved knowing that Project Runway SHOULD HAVE BEEN BACK BY NOW!
Soothe your skin with a great face masque like the Rare-Earth Masque by Kiehl’s.
Finally, a super seasonal nightcap. Sass up your hot chocolate with this amazing recipe.
Grasshopper Has New Hours and a Project Runway Alum That Isn’t Jay McCarroll
The lovely ladies at Grasshopper just emailed to remind us about their new winter hours. We also took a quick look at their website and were pleased to find them carrying Smoke & Mirrors Clothing, the line co-owned by Project Runway alum Emily Brandle. Our favorite item is below the jump, but we recommend stopping by Grasshopper to check out some other goods.
Payless Gets Fierce
Word on the street is that Christian Siriano is designing a line of shoes for Payless. Seems a little odd since the Project Runway alum was more into couture style than affordable everyday wear, but we’re psyched to see them. The shoes will be revealed during February’s NY Fashion Week and will be on the racks in Fall 2009 for $25 to $45.
Project Runway: Postponed!
It’s no secret that we love us some Project Runway ’round these parts, so imagine the horror when we learned that the show’s next season has been postponed indefinitely. The New York Times has this story, which details all the crazy legal drama between Harvey Weinstein and NBC Universal, including the switch from Bravo to the Lifetime network and the setting change from New York to LA.
Personally, I find Harvey Weinstein to be the most loathsome man in Hollywood and the idea of Project Runway taking place anywhere other than NYC is sort of horrifying. But postponing the show only breeds ill-will among already discontented fans. They might as well just get on with it.
Project Runway Episode 13: The Last One
LeAnne wins!
And thank goodness! Although Korto’s collection was gorgeous and I wouldn’t have felt the least bit sorry to see her take top prize, LeAnne has consistently been the strongest designer. And she’s a Portland girl and I like that.
For the sake of space, I’m just going to post my favorite piece from each collection and then give you a link to videos of the runway shows. And of course, you can always hit up Bravo’s site for single shots.
This piece impressed me most because it was the first time LeAnne showcased pants. And they were hot like whoa. The vest was also interestingly and expertly constructed.
Kenley’s best piece was her bridesmaid dress from last week. The rest of her collection was pretty. I especially loved the way she handpainted her fabrics. Even if it was a little reminiscent of Balenciaga.
Korto’s collection focused on her African heritage and the colors she chose worked beautifully. This piece is representative of the whole collection and I love it.
That’s about all there is to it, friends. This recapping has been grand and I’d love to stay and chat, but the Phillies beckon. Time to root, root, root for the home team!
Project Runway Episode 13: One Down
One to go. Today was the first half of the Project Runway season finale—series finale if you, like me, are planning to protest the station switch—and you know what that means. Tim Gunn home visits!
First, let me preface this by saying that if Tim Gunn ever came to my home, invited or otherwise, I would probably have a heart attack and die right on my dingy blue living room carpet. The man is fabulous.
Anyway.
He stopped by Jerrell, Kenley, Korto and LeAnne’s respective homes and made nice with the fams. He probably gave some interesting criticism about their collections, but viewers wouldn’t really know anything about that. Bravo execs had to make sure to include five minutes of Korto playing the African drums and Tugboat Kenley waxing poetic on her dead granny.
Finally the designers arrived back in NYC (in a sick suite at the Westin, might I add) and after making nice with Kenley for a hot second, all four headed over to Parsons where—surprise, surprise—they had to make a bridesmaid dress to go along with the Bryant Park-required wedding garment.
This is Jerrell’s wedding dress. Looks like someone still has mad love for the Bedazzler.
Fortunately, his bridesmaid dress is a bit classier and something that doesn’t come with mandatory head foliage. Unfortunately, the judges hated it and he was sent packing.
Next up was Kenley’s short, feathered dress which Michael Kors immediately called shenanigans on. Fashion plagiarism? Oh hells yes. But, in reality, I would love to bitchbitchbitch about her design because I think she is a Bad Person. I can’t, though, because compared to the other work on the runway, she kicked some major booty.
(Though I have to ask: how many weddings have you been to where the bridesmaids wear dresses that barely cover their goodies?)
It is really freaking hard to make a model look fat on television, but somehow Korto did it.
And her bridesmaid dress is exactly the same as that orange David’s Bridal rip off from last week. Only shorter. I hope Jerrell shot her some mean looks on the way out the door, because he was robbed of Fashion Week glory. Robbed, I say!
And finally, the lovely LeAnne. I admit to having a love-hate relationship with her as a designer, but I think she is legitimately the most talented person from this season. Her collection was inspired by waves and while there were details of this dress I truly hated—There is no situation on the planet that would require a woman to need pockets in her wedding dress—I think her design was the most expertly executed and the prettiest.
This close up of the bodice detailing does no justice to LeAnne’s bridesmaid dress. It was feminine, elegant and cool without trying to hard. Now that Jerrell is out, she’s my pick for overall winner.
+++
Challenge: Season Finale: Part 1
Guest Judge: none
Winner: everyone but Jerrell
Loser: Jerrell
PW Style Blog MVP of the Night: Poor sweet Jerrell. He would’ve made it to Bryant Park, if only he was a woman. (Conspiracy theory: In four seasons of PR, only one woman, the adorable Chloe Dao has taken home the top prize. I don’t think it’d be the least bit surprising if we learned that producers and Bravo execs wanted to ensure a female win for season 5.)
Project Runway Episodes 11 and 12: And So It Goes…
A thousand apologies for the lack of Runway recaps last week. I was on holiday in Portland and was too busy throwing back microbrews to remember the time difference. Whoopsie. Thank god for reruns and fellow Runway fans.