Top Ta-Tas

Last night was the season finale of Top Chef. It’s been an extremely lackluster season with no truly remarkable contestants, which is why there’s been little mention of it here. However, last’s night episode was interesting.

It went down like this: Blah, blah, food, past season stars, drama, OH! A twist!, famous chefs, a fallen souffle, tears, a cranky British guy, boobs, boobs, boobs, the Shmoo wins.

Right now, we’re going to focus on just one aspect of this recap: Boobs. Specifically, guest judge Gail Simmons’.

In this episode, the Food & Wine editor decided that it’d be entirely appropriate to wear an ill-fitting, low-cut dress that showed an, um, excessive amount of cleavage. Or perhaps we’re being prudish here. You be the judge. As one colleague joked, “In this shot, her boobs are so licious, they’re busting onto the screen.”

In Gail’s defense, she did have on a very supportive bra. Which we could see. Nice demi-cup.

And she clearly subscribes to the “up high and close together” rule when purchasing undergarments (as opposed to “lift and separate”).

Gail, we love you, but c’mon. Have a little class.

Special thanks to Paul and DMac for hunting down pictures.

What To Do Tonight: Top Chef

Tonight marks the start of Top Chef season five. While this year’s judging panel will lack the lovable and charming Ted Allen, the promise of Stephen Starr (Restaurant Wars + Stephen Starr = total fangasm) will ease our food porn pain. Tune in to Bravo at 10 p.m.