Off to LA-LA Land
Today I fly to L.A. to visit the boyfriend’s family. Luckily, I like them all very much, but I nonetheless expect the visit to be a bit of a strain. Yesterday I was too groggy/depressed in the morning to put real pants on, so I wore my (very stylish) pajama bottoms to work. No one seemed to notice.
I don’t think I’ll see any famous people, but if I did I’d want it to be someone quirky and classic, like Dennis Farina. That’s not likely.
I’m going to pop into this blog while I’m away (till Tuesday), so keep reading. It won’t be the same volume of posts, but then, weren’t you feeling overwhelmed already? Take a break, for god’s sake.
Seriously, though, I know sometimes people who mental illnesses can feel especially alone at this time of year, so please try to keep active and engaged. Seek out opportunities to be with other people—even those you don’t know—rather than hide out by yourself. And hang in there: It does get better.
liz | 2:25 PM | Uncategorized
What I’m supposed to be doing
Below is a link to the Washington Post’s excellent online offering of various editorials regarding Rigoberto Alpizar, the bipolar man who was shot to death by ill-trained air marshals. I probably should’ve done this roundup myself, but I’ve been too consumed with yoga and kittens (two great tastes that taste great together).
Check it: Editorial roundup
liz | 9:12 PM | Uncategorized
Crazy cat ladies (and gentlemen) unite!
My colleague Dan McQuade (aka D-Mac, the Mac Attack, Dan the Man, and McQuade in the Shade [note: unendorsed nicknames]) has a blog that I like very much, on which he features puppies quite frequently.
I too am a puppy fan (I mean, who isn’t?), but I’m starting to feel like he’s being canine-centric. So from now on, when I’m at a loss, I’m going to post photos of cute kittens. Or cats, actually, as I’m not ageist. Let’s get the ball rolling, shall we, with my ex-kitten Hermes.
This is a photo of him crying because we took away his Kitten Mitten.
Do you have cute photos of your cat? Send them in.
liz | 8:18 PM | Uncategorized
Hot. Yoga.
I just got back from hot yoga, and I’m totally zonked. Why did I decide to do it in the middle of the day?
I can’t hear a thing in that classroom—there’s the hiss of the coals and the exaggerated breathing of the devotees and the ridiculous non-medical claims flowing from the mouth of the instructor. Before the class, I asked the teacher to be considerate of the fact that I’m hard of hearing, and not talk to me in the class because I’d be embarrassed if I had to keep saying, “Wha? Huh?”
He didn’t care. He told me if I came to class, he was going to talk to me. Period. He was rude about it, and I was completely annoyed. Turned out, I think he was kind of shamefaced about having spoken to me so harshly, so he hardly talked to me at all.
After the class, he came over and said, “Everything all right? I have to talk to you in class—do you see? Because I HAVE THE ROADMAP. These other people might have the steps, but I HAVE THE ROADMAP.” I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. He has the roadmap? Did it tell him to wear those earrings?
•Where the self-abasement begins
Photo courtesy Goddess Spiral at Flickr.
liz | 7:47 PM | Uncategorized
Craic that whip
First Australia offers dire headlines about a looming mental health crisis. Now Ireland seems to project some of the same kinds of concerns. Meanwhile, five Scots die of every day from alcoholism, a new study shows. Isn’t that unbelievable?
•Consultants to blame for Irish mental health crisis [Irish Examiner]
•Drink deaths jump 350 percent in 20 years [The Scotsman online]
Photo courtesy Steffe via Flickr.
liz | 4:28 PM | Uncategorized
Good morning, sunshine! (BBI)
From National Alliance on Mental Illness:
Senate Passes Budget Bill That Is Potentially Harmful For Medicaid Recipients With Serious Mental Illnesses
December 21, 2005
This morning, the Senate passed the Budget Reconciliation package (S 1932) on a 50-50 tie vote, with Vice President Dick Cheney casting the tie-breaking vote, allowing the bill to pass. S 1932, as passed, allows states to impose co-pays and other cost sharing requirements in their Medicaid programs. However, because of a last minute procedural “point of order,” the bill must now go back to the House for a second vote — the House had previously passed the bill on December 19. Thus, the House still has a chance to do the right thing and remove the harmful Medicaid provisions.
The House is not expected to reconvene until January, at which time it will be required to vote again on the amended budget package, presenting advocates with a final opportunity to block the legislation.
It is unclear at this point how many House members would have to switch their votes to defeat the amended budget package. The first vote in the House on December 19 was 212-206, with 17 members absent (it is expected that a majority of the members that missed the vote support the package). Despite this, NAMI intends to redouble its efforts to reach out to House members in the coming weeks to defeat the amended budget package. Your grassroots advocacy is urgently needed to prevent S 1932 from becoming law!
Action Needed
Please contact your U.S. Representative to urge opposition to S 1932 when it comes up for a vote. Explain that the Medicaid cost-sharing requirements contained in S 1932 will prevent impoverished people living with severe mental illnesses from receiving needed treatment and will therefore lead to increased homelessness, hospitalizations, criminalization, and suffering.
I confess that I understand very little of the above. I’m still getting my legislative information from Schoolhouse Rock. Anyway, there is action you can take.
•Contact your representatives and yell at them! [NAMI.org]
liz | 3:52 PM | Uncategorized
Check out this website
I’ve been meaning to write about the Icarus Project for years now in my column. It’s on the master list of “columns I should write but apparently, due to inertia and forgetfulness, never will.” The Project is an incredible resource for people with mental illnesses who are tired of going to blogs and websites sponsored by big pharma. It’s too multilayered to even explain, so just go there and click around. It’s a creative approach to/about madness. Check it out:
liz | 10:33 PM | Uncategorized
I have a dream…
…that someday my shrink will give me phenobarbital syrup again. That was some dope dope.
Instead, he told me to increase my antipsychotic to quell the nightmares/sleep trouble I’ve been having. Unfortunately, that makes me a zombie (or zombie-esque, at any rate), so waking and ambulating will be more challenging. But I have to get some sleep.
My least favorite answer from my shrink is that my particular troubles—whatever they might be that week—are related primarily to my psychology rather than to a chemical imbalance. Then I’m just a garden-variety neurotic, and that’s just so lacking in romance.
A friend suggested that when I feel the anxiety coming on (when I’m awake, that is) I return to my old flame: a cigarette. And it’s true, smoking always did the trick for me. I told my shrink I thought it was an unsound suggestion, but a good idea nonetheless. He told me to take more Ativan. I might become a junkie, yes, but at least I won’t die of lung cancer. Point taken.
liz | 9:32 PM | Uncategorized
Australia: mental health crisis looming
•Just 1 mental health bed for 100,000
•Transcript from Australia’s PM radio
•Mental health funds not targetd correctly
•State spending on mental health down
•GPs dealing with 10 million mental health visits
liz | 6:21 PM | Uncategorized
About last night
Last night was rough. I’ve been trying to cut down on the meds a little bit—relying heavily on my psychiatrist’s counsel—so that I’m not so groggy in the morning. Thing is, that makes it harder to get to sleep, and I get anxious about that. So by 2 a.m. last night, I still wasn’t asleep, nor was I particularly tired. I gave in and took another Ativan, which of course meant that I couldn’t get up this morning. I had to call in and say I’d be late, which I always find humiliating.
And I’m not sure if it’s related, but my dreams have been terrifying. I wake up every couple hours crying, out of my mind with worry. My grandmother (who died one year ago this week) sometimes figures in them, but more often it’s anxiety that my boyfriend will leave me because I’m “psycho.” In these dreams my workmates also abandon me, and I become what I suspect I’ll end up as: a person whose mental illness controls them; a person alone.
I can’t keep going on like this. The dreams are so harrowing. But staying awake isn’t the answer either.
liz | 6:20 PM | Uncategorized
