Utah: Worse than you thought
BYU study: Perceived racism leads to depression among Hispanics [Daily Herald]
liz | 12:58 PM | Uncategorized
Special Effexor: Puke not, my friends!
Okay, it’s been something like 10 days since I doubled my dose (up to 75 mg), and I finally think I’ve got the nausea kicked. I put it like that because it really does feel sometimes like I’m in a martial arts battle with these side effects. Take that, nausea! Kick to the head!
I’ve found that initial side effects tend to go away if you hang in there long enough. Now I just have to get through the fatigue. Yesterday I fell asleep in my chair in a noisy hotel lobby. Despite going to bed at 10:30 last night, I wasn’t able to wake up until 10:30 this morning.
But I know the fatigue will dissipate, at which point I’ll be able to truly assess whether the medication is working to lessen my depression. I try to give a new med at least a month before I question its efficacy. So far I’m too overwhelmed by the physical side effects to tell if I feel less depressed.
Ka-bang!
liz | 11:03 AM | Uncategorized
Song of the day: Man Man’s “Van Helsing Boombox”
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It’s a carnival. It’s a coffee shop. It’s Tom Waits drinking on Frank Zappa’s grave with the Triplets of Belleville soundtrack playing in the background and Cerberus Shoal along for the ride.
Man Man website
Man Man at Ace Fu
liz | 5:21 PM | Uncategorized
Special Effexor: Less is more, and honesty is the best policy
Last night, fearing a repeat of the blinding nausea of the night before, I only took three-quarters of a pill instead of the whole one. (I’m in love with my pill-splitter.) And I ate a sandwich too, even though I was feeling queasy.
Both strategies seem to have worked for the moment. Today was easier, and I feel less hopeless than I did yesterday, when I quit my chess lessons.
“I just don’t know when I’m going to feel better,” I told my teacher. “I can’t concentrate on the game.”
He was disappointed, and so was I, but it felt good not to lie. Normally I would’ve skipped classes and backed out by calling and saying I couldn’t afford it. Instead I went in person and told the truth: I’m depressed, I’m struggling to get through it, the medication is making me physically sick. I didn’t blame a phsyical illness to make it seem better. My psychiatric illness is just as “real” as any of the strictly physical illnesses I’ve pretended to have over the years. One time I even lied to an employer and said I was quitting my job to deal with anorexia. An eating disorder seemed more palatable (yeah, yeah) than bipolar disorder.
My chess teacher was eminently sympathetic, as I’ve found most people are if you’re honest about things. “I’ve been through a lot of things in a lot of years,” he said. “Call me anytime.”
The frankness of the conversation made me actually feel like I might be able to continue with the lessons sometime soon. It’s such a relief not to pretend. Sometimes the pretending is half the struggle.
liz | 4:58 PM | Uncategorized
A rave review
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A couple years ago a study came out that claimed that Ecstasy causes depression. The pro-Ecstasy people never believed it.
Now a study shows that children who suffer from depression are more likely to use Ecstasy later in life—meaning the depression may be inherent in the people rather than the drug.
Either way, if you wear a “glo” necklace, you’re a geek.
Study questions ecstasy link to depression [MSNBC]
[Photo by vinirusso via Flickr.]
liz | 1:07 PM | Uncategorized
PW interns rock
I want to give major thanks to Philadelphia Weekly interns Benae Mosby and Jess Fuerst for making the list of local resources linkable. It’s now better than ever. Check out their handiwork below. Brings a tear to me eye, it does.
Local resources linked beautifully
liz | 1:35 PM | Uncategorized
Fun with Google News results
Second paragraph.
STMicroelectronics, Freescale Join Hands
liz | 12:50 PM | Uncategorized
Your stories: Leonard
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I’m sorry to read that you are depressed. I doubt persons who
haven’t suffered from depression know what it is like – the sense of
hopelessness, the despair, and the feeling that the blackness
will never lift.
I too go into the non-communicative mode when depressed and it is
doubtless unhealthy. I figure who wants to speak to me when I’m not
entertaining? So I crawl into bed, let the answering machine
do its voodoo, and hope the depression will magically, mysteriously lift (C’mon anti-depressants do your thing!). Of course, personal hygiene goes south – why should I shower, shave and brush my teeth when my immediate goal is to sleep?
I’ve tried a kitchen sink’s worth of anti-depressants and since I suffer from OCD with comorbid depression I am often prescribed high dosages. I’m currently on 60 mg. of Lexapro daily which is three times the manufacturers maximum recommended dose. Of course, I’ve taken a host of adjunctive medications. I’m now on Lamictal too and have frequently taken what appears to be the “Holy Trinity” of depression treatment – a SSRI, an anti-convulsant and an antipsychotic.
I only wish that anti-depressants alone would grant entry to a life
which is rewarding, empowering, filled with love and caring, and devoid of isolation. Just like those pharma’s commercials which rely on “slice of life” advertising.
I’ll try to heed the moral of one of your earlier posts. Here’s
something along the same lines – “The opposite of play isn’t work. It’s depression. To play is to act out and be willful, exultant and
committed, as if one is assured of one’s prospects.” – Brian
Sutton-Smith, the dean of Play Studies at the University of Pennsylvania.
Please continue to share how you’re doing. I’m certain all your readers are concerned about your well being and wish you the very best as I do.
[Photo courtesy Louis via Flickr]
liz | 10:23 AM | Uncategorized
God bless America
Before today I’d never read Woman’s World, “the Woman’s Weekly,” even though it’s placed at every checkout counter in every store in the country. What’s generally deterred me from picking it up is what it says at the top: “God Bless America.” Ew. That’s just disgusting.
But I picked it up this week for the mental health tips. According to WW, it’s all about visualization. Hypnotherapist Kerstin Sjoquist suggests different images for different moods. Tense? Imagine the sun! Angry? Imagine your own private island! Worried? Imagine a babbling brook (even though that’s the most annoying setting on your noise machine)!
I am depressed, thus I’m going to imagine “a shower of flowers”:
“Envision: delicate blossoms drifting through the air. Watch them softly falling, cascading around you and covering the ground. ‘Breathe in the luscious scents,’ says Sjoquist. ‘Actually feel the flowers caressing you, their gentle touch remind you of all that’s good in your day.”
I gave it a try, but it just made me dizzy trying to figure out which kind of flower should be falling at my sun-dappled feet. Orchids? Too complex. Roses? Too trite. Lilies? Do I even know what lilies look like?
I think I’ll visualize my bed instead. Sheets enwrapping my tired soul. Pillows like clouds beneath my head. Ahhhh.
liz | 3:55 PM | Uncategorized
Follow-up to Wall Street Journal’s article on forced drugging
In the beginning of the month, the WSJ ran a lengthy article about the issue of forcing mentally ill people to take medication—even when they don’t want to. It’s a question of civil rights vs. medical intervention. When I posted the article here it received many comments, including one from a man who’d been profiled in the piece.
Yesterday MindFreedom International sent out the full text of the letters to the editor that ran in WSJ. They perfectly articulate both sides of the debate. You’ll find them after the jump…
liz | 1:32 PM | Uncategorized
