But wait!

Okay, so I just got through reading all the new comments, and thank you all so much for getting back to me! I will address your questions quickly before I leave my desk for Memorial Day weekend, which I’m pretending is going to happen even though I have absolutely NO plans. That’s right—I am the only person on the planet with NOTHING to do this weekend. I suspect the sugar gliders will get a good bit of attention, maybe more than they want.

1. As for indexing so that like posts are grouped together, this will be done in the next week. Great idea.
2. The links at right are to sites that I’m familiar with and organizations that I feel do good work. But I don’t endorse any site’s entire agenda. I just want everyone to have access to as many different mental health resources as possible.
3. The Liz-o-Meter is a genius idea. Again, next week I’ll start that. You know, after my long weekend of NO barbecues and NO parties.
4. Peter, I am working on the Philly poem. It will most certainly include mention of the horrific stench of the city in the summer, a mix of urine, sewage and the anxious sweat of historically garbed “colonial” tour guides.
5. BBI (Boring But Important) came about in two ways. The first was that every time I suggested a so-called “serious” mental health topic to my editor, he’d say, “Hmm. That sounds like an important story.” And I’d say, “Yeah, but a little boring, right?” And he’d say, “No, no, not necessarily,” which means “Yes, yes, completely and totally.” Then I discovered that The Week magazine has a feature called Boring But Important, and well, it just seemed right.

Have I answered most questions? I have to run and get my bathing suit now, so I can go to a pool party that NO ONE has invited me to.

Oh, and P.S., by sort-of request, here’s another photo of Katie Holmes. Katie, I hope you’re okay. Have a good Memorial Day with L. Ron and the crew.

liz | 4:33 PM | Uncategorized

Rejected by justice

Well, I didn’t get picked for jury duty. I got to the point where there are 30 of you in the courtroom with the lawyers and the defendant and the judge. So you learn all about the crime, the charges against the guy and the terms of the trial, and then you get ditched.

In this case, the defendant was a handsome Latino guy wearing really cool glasses. I immediately had a crush on him, despite the murder/assault/kidnapping/robbery/conspiracy charges leveled against him. He looked so vulnerable. I tried to give him an encouraging smile, and then came to my senses.

He could be a murderer/assaulter/kidnapper/robber/conspirator for all I knew! Plus, the evidence we did get wasn’t exactly flattering to him: He admitted he was at the scene during the shooting and was holding a gun. His partner in alleged crime had turned state’s witness and was saying all kinds of horrible things about him. Not promising. The defense lawyer was wearing a bad suit and had a facial tic. All in all, I don’t have high hopes for “Juan.”

Still, I would’ve liked the opportunity to be a juror. I’m such a fair person. I was always able to mediate the fights between my cat and dog with a gentle hand or a kind remark. Like saying to the Chihuahua (pictured), “Hannah! Stop licking the cat’s balls!” Case closed.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend, everyone. I think I’m going to take off and relax. But I’ll be back on Tuesday, same time, same station.

liz | 3:42 PM | Uncategorized

Boy, will you be sorry you asked

So far I have exactly one response to my query: What do you want to see on this blog that you don’t see now? Peter asks for “some information about the city of Philadelphia.” Oh, boy. You don’t want to ask someone who loves their hometown as much as I do for that. There’s nothing I love more than this city. Not my friends. Not my parents. Not my sugar gliders, God bless their tiny hearts. If I got a tattoo, it would say “PHILLY.”

In fact, when I go to New York, even for just a day, and then see the Philly skyline when I’m coming back to town, little tears spring to my eyes. “My home!” I think. “Be it ever so humble…” And gosh golly if that phrase doesn’t apply perfectly to this town. Humble! Kind of dirty! Corrupt! Black and white people yelling at each other! Cops shooting citizens! Citizens selling drugs! Sidewalk memorials! And plenty of obesity on display throughout the summer via tank tops and short shorts!

I’m entirely sincere when I talk about how much I love it, though. And tonight I’m going to take Peter’s suggestion and reflect—just me, a glass of wine, a good meal and the skyline for my company. And then I’ll write a sestina about the city, and post it here tomorrow. Or maybe a sonnet. Or, if that’s too hard, maybe, like, an ode. Or some free verse. How about free verse? I likee the free verse. (And yes, I did say “likee.”)

Tomorrow I have jury duty, and I’m really hoping to get picked. They never take me, maybe because I have that hungry, eager, “I’m a very fair person—really!” look on my face, so I’ll probably be blogging in the afternoon, rejected once again by a capricious justice system. But in the unlikely event that you don’t hear from me, you can assume I’m taking part in Law and Order and Doing the Right Thing by Serving My City. Keep your fingers crossed, and Peter, I’ll be working on that poem.

liz | 4:11 PM | Uncategorized

Hello, new friends

For whatever reason, my blog numbers have more than tripled in the last week. (Sadly, I had to use a calculator to figure that out.) Where are all these new people coming from? It’s great, of course, but now I feel the pressure is on. I have to be entertaining. So, um, did you ever hear the one about the priest and rabbi trapped on a raft in the Atlantic Ocean? Yeah, me neither.

I think this would be an opportune moment to solicit your advice. Here are some of the features I regularly include on this site. Which ones do you like best?

•BBI: Boring But Important
•Bipolar Made Me Do It
•Special Effexor
•Headlines: national
•Headlines: international
•Song of the day
•Video selections
•The rare photo of a cute animal
•Updates on my sugar gliders
•Celebrity revelation
•Least surprising headline of the week

Do you have any other requests? The lines are open 24 hours a day. We have operators standing by.

[This is a drawing of me by the great Jim McHugh.]

liz | 12:16 PM | Uncategorized

Okay, let’s get this out of the way: Botox manifesto

If I see one more headline about this Botox-curing-depression miracle, I’m going to scream. The way the media has picked up on this, you’d think the NIMH had funded a major multipart study over the course of three generations. In fact, scientific evidence to substantiate this claim—a claim, BTW, that will make the doctor who initiated the study very rich)—is slim. Very slim.

Here’s what happened: Cosmetic surgeon Eric Finzi noticed his patients were reporting improved mood after getting Botox. Okay, fair enough. They look better and feel better. Not much news there. But Finzi became convinced that there was a connection between Botox and depression, despite the fact that fixing a frown has nothing to do with brain disorders. So he did a “pilot” study (often as futile as pilot TV shows) with 10 people. Let me spell that out: Ten.

Nine of the 10 people found that the treatment lifted their depression. He has since expanded the study to 15 people, with similar positive results. So why am I being so snarky? I guess I’m frustrated by the media response, which tends to substantiate such claims by virtue of the amount of coverage they get. I’d hate for depressed women to start flocking to plastic surgeons in hopes that their depression will be erased along with their frown lines. Plastic surgeons are not trained to deal with psychiatric problems. If you’re depressed you should seek help from a psychiatrist or psychologist.

Some articles are trumpeting Botox’s other uses, such as treating muscle spasms in stroke victims and people with Parkinson’s disease. ABC News says: “It may even help fight cancer.” Botox—the wonder drug!

I caution careful consideration before coming to conclusions. (That’s Spikol’s Five C’s.) Cuidado!

liz | 10:11 AM | Uncategorized

Cute psychology student of the week. He raps!

This young man is describing a particular theory of emotion he’s learned about in school. My favorite part is when he refers to the Renaissance as something that makes your heart beat faster. I know that happens to me!

liz | 5:18 PM | Uncategorized

Special Effexor: An update: Sweat

I just got back from the psychiatrist’s office. As I suspected, we did talk a lot about my stupid hang-ups, like not wanting to clean my apartment. But I also mentioned that I’m going to the “regular” doctor tomorrow to talk about my night sweats and increased migraines. Though I asked him last week, and he said no, this week my shrink said that the night sweats (and my sweatiness in general) are probably a result of the Effexor. Damn.

“Do you want to stop taking it?” he asked.

“No way,” I said.

“Good,” he said, clearly relieved.

This, ladies and gents, is what they call the defining moment in mental-health pharmacology. You take a medication. It makes you better. Then the side effects get bad. What do you do?

I’m going to sweat, thanks very much, and I’ll be happy about it too. I was ready to kill myself a few months ago. Now I wake up in the middle of the night damp and cold, but I actually want to live to see the next morning.

Meeting with the shrink: $125
Effexor co-pay: $10
Not wanting to blow my brains out every 12 seconds: Priceless.

liz | 4:59 PM | Uncategorized

Shrink-ing paycheck

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in a half-hour, and again I feel reluctant to go. Part of it is that I’ve been struggling with a demi-migraine last night and today. Last night I got the aura—that strange buzzy feeling in the top of my head that let me know a headache was coming. I woke up a couple times last night to try and deal with the pain, but now it’s just pushing, pushing, like an angry cloud over my right eye.

But the other reason I don’t want to go is that I worry so much about the money—$125 each time—that it’s hard for me to focus on our session. When we’re not talking medications, we’re just talking about my problems that aren’t related to bipolar disorder—my garden-variety neuroses, like feeling overwhelmingly guilty about homeless people. And doesn’t that seem expensive just to hear myself kvetch? I can have that same conversation with my boyfriend Vince.

True, Vince doesn’t listen as intently. The other night, in fact, he admitted he was thinking, while I was talking, “How can I made a graceful exit?” My psychiatrist never thinks that, and come to think of it, neither would my boyfriend if I paid for every conversation with sexual favors. I mean, not to get too graphic here, but if a guy thinks he’s going to get laid—or get something else, if you know what I mean—he tends to be very attentive. Anyway.

But I guess I’ll go anyway. When you’re as crazy as I am, it’s like preventive medicine. You can never have too much shrinkage.

liz | 2:27 PM | Uncategorized

Bipolar Made Me Do It: Steal a boat and sail it to Tasmania

Tas-mania. Heh.

Repentant yacht thief was ’seriously unwell’, court told

liz | 1:56 PM | Uncategorized

Heaven’s gates

Yesterday I was exchanging thoughts with a reader on the subject of suicide. Is it preventable? Or if someone is determined to die, is it merely a matter of time?

There is one setting in which suicide is eminently preventable: prison. A person has limited access to deadly weapons, and is being monitored almost constantly. And yet in the past few weeks I’ve read so many articles about inmate suicide. It almost feels like an epidemic.

All the following headlines are from the last few weeks. The most sensational of them is about “Naked Guy,” the Berkeley student who used to walk around nude in the early ’90s. (He’s pictured here with clothes on.) But they’re all tragic, no matter the person’s reason for being behind bars. I wonder how precious those lives seem to prison officials, though. Maybe the guards are just happy to get rid of them.

There’s no excuse for this kind of negligence. People don’t have to die, no matter how disenfranchised they are or how dark their souls might seem. Maybe we need to get the anti-abortion crowd in on this. They’re always blathering about saving lives. Perhaps they’d like to focus on some lives outside the womb.

•Inmate suicide second at S.L. County jail in 2 weeks
•Inmate’s suicide reported
• San Quentin prison suicide identified
•Santa Clara Co. Jail Inmate Apparently Commits Suicide
•Hanging death at Bibb County jail ruled a suicide
• Inmate commits suicide at county jail
•Inmate kills himself in Coos County jail
•Suicidal inmate said he was depressed after burying girlfriend’s body
•Infamous Berkeley ‘Naked Guy’ Dies In Jail Suicide

liz | 11:31 AM | Uncategorized