Reader response: So tired.

From Russell Luhring on the subject of suicide, which continues to occupy us here at Crazy Inc.:

Suicide is outside either realm of weakness or strength. People who haven’t dealt with mental illness in the first person should recognize their foreign position. Being bi-polar and psychotic is different than mild depression. I know ignorant people that think everyone who is mentally ill simply has mild depression and can easily, in their opinion, pull themselves up by the bootstraps. No. I attempted suicide. No, not during a bout of depression, but while in a psychotic/manic state. Most of the people who suppose suicide a sign of a person’s weakness of character are weak of character for expressing their opinion. I was tired, oh my god, tired. Physically and mentally unable to process any action but that of suicide. There was no other possibility or a rationalization of what I was doing. Also, suicide is most likely carried out during a period of mania, at least for those with bi-polar. It is so hard for me to restrain my language when I speak about these people: the foreigners to mental illness. I have a genuine bilious reaction to their flapping heads. Mental illness is beyond the horrible descriptions; the desperate, visceral writhing taking place in a person’s own mind. What is supposed to be a cognitive facility for directing the body turns against that body in the most disturbed form of treason. Suicide doesn’t exist as a test of man’s character. I wish it didn’t exist at all. And anyone with a semblance of intelligency should understand that.

liz | 4:04 PM | Uncategorized