Just enough suicide
In response to Terry’s thought that I perhaps cover suicide too much, Wendi writes:
Like most depressives, I face suicide everyday. I stare it down daily, and so far, everyday, I’ve won the battle. It’s very real to me, just as much a part of my life as deciding what to wear everyday. When I read about other people’s suicides, it’s a chance for me to not only mourn that person’s death with true compassion, but also to celebrate my own decision to live that day. I value compassionate observance, what I find here. I shrink from the sensationalism of the media coverage, which only serves to hold the person up as an aberration. It makes me feel like a freak, too. So, I value your reports of suicides, Liz. It’s not too much. It’s just enough of what I don’t find elsewhere – understanding and real feeling. Sorry, Terry. I disagree with you completely.
The emphasis is mine because that’s exactly what I feel, though before Wendi said it, I never realized that’s how I felt.
liz | 11:05 AM | Uncategorized
I don[’t mind the suicides. My favorite novel in the world. Anna Karennina, was triggered by a suicide Tolstoy read in the paper.
I sufferer from severe suicidal ideation, but it helps me, something always stops me. I really want to live. I don’t actually want to die, I just cannot stop thinking about it.
YOur articles do help Liz. No one else carries them. If they upset people, put a trigger on it, but I don’t think that is neccessary.
Very eloquently said. I agree.
Liz, I empathize with your plight. You put words to my very thoughts so eloquently.
Remember, you are not alone. There are blessings and curses to this disease. Have a happy new year.
Liz, I don’t mind your reporting of suicides, but I find myself wanting to know more. What was the person’s mental health history, was he on meds or not, had he made a previous attempt, was there a life event or illness that triggered the suicide? Without some sort of context, it just feels like another tree has inexplicably fallen. Instead of distancing me from the act, it makes me feel closer.
On that note, Happy New Year everyone!
I agree with you too, but have have often wondered, Liz, about your awareness of suicide contagion research and media guidelines that have been developed? You’re a professional journalist and sometimes it surprises me that you write about suicide in certain ways (like details of methods) as though you’re unaware of the potential impact, especially with a readership that is perhaps more vulnerable than most.
I don’t know if I’ve posted this before. Once I mad a a suicide gesture (that’s what the therapists call it). I had left my ex husband, and was suffering from heartbreak, betrayal, fear, etc. I walked into the bathroom where my mother had left a big bottle of phenobarbital on the counter, looked at myself in the mirror and decided I didn’t deserve to live through such misery and I took the pills. I then went back to my Dad’s office, sat down and waited to die. After a few minutes I walked back in to the bath room, looked myself in the mirror and thought, in the grand scheme of things even if I live to be 100, my life will have been short, I don’t deserve to die. And I called 911. I hadn’t even taken enough pills to get my stomach pumped. But I was lucky that I tried suicide in a way that gave me a chance to change my mind. I’ll never try it again, that was 22 years ago. I’ve lost several people I cared very much about to suicide, people who, using different methods from me, weren’t able to turn back even if they changed their minds.
So I think it’s important to discuss suicide. These days my thinking is along the lines of “suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem,” but I really don’t know. I think somehow reading real life stories of suicide may change some minds while there’s still time.
Liz -
Please don’t change a thing about your handling of suicide or any other issue because of a reader comment. You have a special gift that’s all you, and that’s what attracts people to your writing and this site.
Thanks for checking with other readers – I for one would hate to see you start trying to conform to anyone else’s idea of what is editorially correct. Just keep on being you – you’re great.
john@storiedmind.com
If the issue was heart disease or cancer no discussion would be complete without appropriate consideration of mortality. Why is this not the case for mental illness?
First, the vast majority of those who commit suicide have a diagnosable mental illness.
Second, as has been shared here suicide is something folks coping with a mental illness think about. For some, it is something thought about quite often. It would be unfair to pretend otherwise.
Third, suicide prevention efforts abound – at least in word. Given the resources committed, the claims made as to the nature, timing, quality and extent of the services provided, isn’t it worth considering what these efforts are actually achieving? What are people actually receiving when they reach out?
Forth, sans any real accountability the mental health system invites binary measures, ex. dead versus alive, housed versus on the streets. While suicide is not necessarily a proxy for the state of our nation’s mental health and its mental health system it is one of the few statistics collected. We know that number of suicides is generally underreported for various reasons (family, financial, religious) but there might be something to be found in the trend.
Fifth, where the President’s New Freedom Commission on Mental Health was united in its belief that America’s mental health delivery system is in shambles, would suicide be one tragic reflection of such a system?
Some issues are deeply disturbing but the first step towards addressing them is due consideration. I agree with John that you should not conform to anyone’s idea of what is editorially correct.
Joe said “Third, suicide prevention efforts abound – at least in word. Given the resources committed, the claims made as to the nature, timing, quality and extent of the services provided, isn’t it worth considering what these efforts are actually achieving? What are people actually receiving when they reach out?”
I can tell you what I’ve received: incarceration, intrusion, coercion, judgement and drugs. I can assure you that, should I get to that awful and lonely place again, I won’t make the mistake of reaching out for “help”.
Reply: