Spiritual Author Sharon Fawcett Writes In
Sharon Fawcett, Canadian author of Hope for Wholeness: The Spiritual Path to Freedom From Depression, wrote to TTWS about the Ask Amy post.
I was once the depressed spouse causing my family much stress and heartache. During my nine years of clinical depression (and 80 weeks in psychiatric wards) I was blessed to have a husband who took his marriage vows seriously and remained committed to me with a love beyond affection. Many would have left a marriage that didn’t meet their needs, and a partner who was unable to contribute anything to the relationship. My husband sacrificed much to stay with me and care for me (and our young daughters), and his steadfast love gave me the strength to endure depression.
I cannot speak for the man who is the subject of the letter to Dear Amy, but I suspect his illness is causing him to make these decisions that are difficult for his family. I know what it’s like to be so depressed that you just want to run away, and to feel as though your daily presence is a burden to your family. This notion nearly led me to suicide. Maybe the reader in Oregon should be grateful her husband is choosing to move out for a brief time, rather than to permanently end his life.
For all those who love someone with depression, I’d recommend Anne Sheffield’s book, How You Can Survive When They’re Depressed.
Thanks for sharing, Sharon.
liz | 11:21 AM | Uncategorized
Ask Amy Gets a Whopper
We’ve published “Ask Amy” questions before, but this one is really tough. I feel for this woman.
Dear Amy: I have been married for 11 years. My husband suffers from severe seasonal depression, for which he refuses to seek treatment because “there is nothing they can do.”
It is difficult for the rest of his family to cope with his depression, but we continue to try and support him.
My husband is in one of his depressive periods, and he announced today that he will be moving out and renting an apartment until the depression passes. This could mean he will be gone a month or more.
I am extremely upset because he didn’t think the decision warranted having a discussion with me.
Most of all, I resent the fact that he thinks he can just “check in” and be a part of the family, then “check out” whenever it suits him without consideration for others. Part of my resentment stems from other behavior, such as thinking he should be able to make large purchases without consulting me or acknowledging that it will affect anyone besides him.
My husband thinks I am unreasonable.
I believe we should go to a counselor, but if my husband won’t seek medical treatment for his physically disabling depression, there is no way I will be able to get him to see a marriage counselor.
A READER IN OREGON
To see Amy’s response, go here.
liz | 1:31 PM | Uncategorized
Odd Headline
From the BBC:
Suicide risk was ‘not removable’
Is it ever removable?
liz | 11:01 AM | Uncategorized
Para los que Hablan Español
Here we have Eva, a psychologist, talking about her faux patients. Judging by her accent, I’m guessing she’s from Spain. If she’s not, she should move there immediately. She speaks very quickly, pero si ustedes hablan espanol or quieren aprender, escuchela.
LingusTV bills itself as a fresh new way to learn Spanish. If I were still teaching it, I would definitely use videos like this one.
liz | 5:45 PM | Uncategorized
Bipolar/HIV/Being Drunk and High Made Me Do It: Threaten the President’s Life
I’ve always thought it was kind of weird that if you say even the slightest thing about wanting to kill the prez, you risk being incarcerated. Most people kind of wish Bush ill these days, don’t you think? Not death, necessarily, but, like, a bad cold at least.
Here’s the headline from one of Jim Romenesko’s sites. I love Romenesko. I think he’s being wry here.
President Bush is now safe from one mentally ill homeless man
liz | 9:03 AM | Uncategorized
New Video Series: Lit Gloss
Well, folks, everything goes video eventually. Now I’m doing some video book reviews, and the series kicks off with my assessment of My Life in Porn, by Bobby Blake.
liz | 12:45 PM | Uncategorized
Worse Than Meds for Kids?
The elderly in nursing homes have long been overmedicated, but because of societal prejudices and disregard, little attention has been paid by the mainstream media. Now, however, one of the most popular stories on the New York Times website is one about this very problem, but in specific, the issue of using antipsychotics.
Interestingly, when my grandmother was in her nursing home, the Fountains, she alleged she was being given sleeping pills or sedatives that weren’t explicitly prescribed for her. She was lucid and didn’t suffer from dementia, but it was hard to believe — that they were doping her up? These days it seems less fantastic.
From the Times:
The use of antipsychotic drugs to tamp down the agitation, combative behavior and outbursts of dementia patients has soared, especially in the elderly. Sales of newer antipsychotics like Risperdal, Seroquel and Zyprexa totaled $13.1 billion in 2007, up from $4 billion in 2000, according to IMS Health, a health care information company.
Part of this increase can be traced to prescriptions in nursing homes. Researchers estimate that about a third of all nursing home patients have been given antipsychotic drugs.
The increases continue despite a drumbeat of bad publicity. A 2006 study of Alzheimer’s patients found that for most patients, antipsychotics provided no significant improvement over placebos in treating aggression and delusions. …
The agency has not approved marketing of these drugs for older people with dementia, but they are commonly prescribed to these patients “off label.” Several states are suing the top sellers of antipsychotics on charges of false and misleading marketing.
Ah, the good old off-label prescribing. I wouldn’t be well if it weren’t for off-label, but it is, as they say, a slippery slope. And in this instance, and for children, I think it has to be used with great caution.
I know the elderly isn’t anyone’s target demographic. I know we value children more because they represent the future. But I refuse to consign anyone to the past. It’s never acceptable to be finished with another human being. I’m glad the Times is on this.
Doctors Say Medication Is Overused in Dementia
[Photo by Miguel A. Lopes "Migufu" via Flickr.]
liz | 10:00 AM | Uncategorized
Hugh Laurie in No. 1 Spot, Despite Musicians Being Completely Effed Up
Last week I was asking for names of our favorite troubled celebrities. Most suggestions after my initial suggestions were people in the music biz, which I’d forgotten about. If we were including substance abuse, it would get ridiculous, so these are people I think have some other something that goes beyond burning the inside of their nostrils with cocaine.
The one I don’t know about is John Lennon. Really? My sweet John? Eccentric, to be sure.
Billie Holiday
Kristin Hersh
Whitney Houston
Nick Drake
Exene Cervenka
Elliott Smith
Robyn Hitchcock
Darby Crash
John Lennon
Marianne Faithful
Lou Reed
Mark Eitzel
Chet Baker
Alex Chilton
Daniel Johnston
Keith Moon
Townes Van Zandt
Ian Curtis
Jeff Tweedy
Tatum O’Neill
Heath Ledger
So far, however, the hands-down favorite is Hugh Laurie. I too love love love Mr. Laurie, and am glad he has so many fans. I think he was especially hilarious in the BBC comedy Blackadder, as he’s pictured here.
At any rate, House’s star suffers from clinical depression, and finds it hard to be happy. He does, however, enjoy the idea of his soon-to-be-delivered Burger King Crown Card, which is only given to special celebrities. See “Actor Sparks BK-Card Freakout” in AdvertisingAge to get the total blogosphere story.
liz | 12:21 PM | Uncategorized
My Top 10 Favorite Troubled People
You know how sometimes you read about a celebrity having problems, and your heart feels like it’s being squeezed until it bleeds, even though you’ve never met the person and you know it’s ridiculous to care? There are some people who just make me feel immediate sympathy due to the combination of their mental health problems and their talent and that undefinable je ne sais quoi. I asked around the PW offices, and we came up with a list of our favorite famous people who have been, as they say, touched by fire.
Robert Downey Jr.
Amy Winehouse
Stephen Fry
Carrie Fisher
Margot Kidder
Chandler Bing
Mark Summers of Double Dare
Courtney Love
Chan Marshall, aka Cat Power
Natasha Lyonne
Honorable mentions: Britney Spears, Owen Wilson, Gary Busey
Who are your favorites?
liz | 10:32 AM | Uncategorized
Gay Brain, My Brain, Your Brain…
A new study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences says gays and lesbians do, in fact, have biological differences that suggest homosexuality is determined during fetal development. Gay men’s brains are configured more like heterosexual women’s brains, while lesbians’ brain are configured more like those of heterosexual men.
The study, which was done at the Stockholm Brain Institute in Sweden, has caused some strange headlines. The UK Register , for instance, wrote: LESBIANS LIKE STRAIGHT MEN, RESEARCH FINDS. Do they really? That might be a surprise to their girlfriends.
The comments thread on the Chronicle of Higher Education has people asking thoughtful questions, such as, is the study’s sample size (90 people) large enough to draw wide-ranging conclusions? Do we need longitudinal studies? Is it relevant to pursue such studies of the “gay brain” when we don’t have headlines like “Is There a Straight Brain?” Do such studies ignore the variations of the Kinsey Scale (i.e., what about bisexuality)? And finally, is this kind of study too rigid in terms of gender identification?
I don’t know about the reliability of this particular study, but I can say that my sexual preferences seemed hardwired early on. Though I have often had long-term relationships with men (and currently live with a man), I have always been more physically attracted to women and thus have had relationships with women as well. Sometimes I have identified as gay, sometimes as bisexual — but never straight. Recently, I decided to jettison labels entirely and just be me, but it’s hard to explain myself in a culture that is suspicious of such fluidity.
How did I know I was attracted to women from the start? Well, my friend in grade school, who I’ll call Julia, came over to my house one Sunday and told me she had something to show me. We were about 8. She grabbed the comics section of the Philadelphia Inquirer and told me to look at Dagwood from the Blondie strip. She said he was “sexy.” She said if I looked at him I would start to feel funny but there were things I could do to make it go from funny to really nice.
I had no idea what she was talking about. I stared at Dagwood as long as I could, but nothing happened. She kept trying to explain. Finally, I let my eyes wander to Blondie, with her long, pretty legs and bouncy hair and I felt funny. I told her I understood but I didn’t mention Blondie. Even then, I knew it was wrong to prefer a girl over a guy.
The incident–which would be repeated not in its particulars but in its generalities countless times to come–made me understand who I was. I’ve always had a soft spot for Blondie since then.
Gay Men, Straight Women Have Similar Brains
liz | 10:08 AM | Uncategorized
