Eminem from “Stan” on The Marshall Mathers LP

Dear Ms. Spikol,

Don’t be alarmed, this letter is not from someone in need of an emergency psychiatric evaluation. I’m Ronald Crawford, a 43 year-old African American therapist who works in North Philadelphia with “at-risk” adolescents and men who were recently released from incarceration. The lyrics above are from a rap song that details the story of an obsessed rap fan with mental health challenges who becomes angry when his favorite rap artist doesn’t respond to letters that he’s written him. I use these rap lyrics (and others) in a project that seeks to increase literacy and mental health awareness to a culture that has high illiteracy rates and a need for counseling services. If you haven’t heard the song that the lyrics were taken from, you should listen to it. I don’t know what your tastes in music are, but if you listen to this and other songs by Eminem with an open mind, you’ll agree that he speaks to (and for) many youths whose pain and cries for help are ignored by adults until the youths angrily “act out” in ways that are unhealthy and dangerous.
With all due respect Ms. Spikol, in the very near future, someone will be perceived as being very smart for “discovering me.” This, in my humble opinion, is the result of a project that I’ve developed that, with the right exposure, could not only be a New York Times Best Seller but could also be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in a way similar to how Tookie Williams was nominated for his series of children’s books that addressed preventing gang participation. Ms. Spikol, ask yourself; will you be that “smart” person who “discovers me” and do you really want to help people? If you answered yes to either of these questions, please help me implement an intervention that helps some of the most vulnerable people in our society.
First of all, if there is anything that I can do to offer you assistance, don’t hesitate to ask. In 2000, I earned a Masters of Human Service Degree from Lincoln University, so I am confident that this training will enable me to assist you in any initiative you are involved in that is geared toward helping others. My contact info is rjcrawford7263@yahoo.com or (267) 506-5945, and I am willing to serve. I am writing you because I need “a favor.” If you could read my letter in its entirety, you would be helping me assist families in Philadelphia and in urban areas across the country. I know this letter is lengthy, but I included much of the information that I had written in the first letter I sent to you. I did this just in case you “didn’t get a chance to read the first letter.”
I first became aware of you when reading an article you wrote titled, A Horse Race of a Different Color. I agreed with much of what you wrote about in the article, but the most insightful point you made was when you mentioned a personal experience that resulted in your changing careers (from a full-time writer to a social worker). This was amazing to me because it’s similar to what I’m doing now (only in reverse). Since 1992, I have worked in the helping profession, but I have spent much of the last two years indulged in my first writing project.
My first project is a book that addresses the murder rate and the level of violence in Philadelphia (and the country) through literacy by exploring the impact that rap music/hip hop culture has on youths of our society. This is relevant because statistics indicate that far too often, those that are either committing the violence or are the victims of it are within the age range that makes them members of the hip hop culture. My exploration of rap music and hip hop culture is non-traditional, as my approach is unlike the usual one where negative aspects of the music and the culture are addressed. This approach, however non-traditional, is rather effective, and if you ask me, pretty ingenious. This fact is evidenced by my daily interactions with those that I work with, as they have functioned as sort of a focus group.
I am writing you because I’ve gotten into the habit of writing anyone who I think can help me. Unfortunately, I’ve been hardened by writing so many people without anyone responding. I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve written, authors, scholars, entertainers, sports personalities, politicians, and record execs (I even briefly met Mayor Nutter and gave him some info about my project), and no one has responded to my outreach efforts. Maybe I’m the only person who feels that the level of violence in Philadelphia is a problem.
Let me preface my next point by explaining that I do understand how a person can write a celebrity and not receive a response. I “get” that famous people can be so busy (and receive so much mail), they cannot possibly read and respond to all of the mail sent to them. In many cases, they give the responsibility of managing this task to others. However, if there is at least one letter that a person doesn’t receive, the person responsible for receiving and reading the mail is not doing their job. What if a letter that wasn’t read was from a person who could cure cancer, AIDS or the “isms” we face in our society (racism, sexism, and classism)? Now, if someone’s popularity is such that their supporters are sending them so much mail that the person responsible for receiving and reading it is overwhelmed, then more people are needed to manage this task.
Reading your article gave me the impression that you may be someone who would be willing to support my efforts. I need help securing the remaining funds for my project. I would graciously accept donations, so if you know of any grants, organizations, or individuals that would be willing to “support the cause,” I would appreciate it. I have invested $5,000 into my project so far, but I’m in need of another $5,000. The challenges I have encountered securing the remaining funds has frustrated me, especially since the budget of my program is significantly less than the budgets of traditional social service programs. It’s also frustrating to know that millions of dollars are invested in social services programs that don’t work (and I know because I work in them), so the nominal amount of money I need makes investing in my project “a bargain.”
You can assist in several ways (by reviewing my book, by offering advice about fund raising, or by being a mentor to me), so please don’t be “put off” by me mentioning my need for funding. It’s just that since I have your attention (which I must have if you’ve read this much of the letter), “I had to ask.” Besides, “closed mouths don’t get fed.” Plus who knows, you may know a philanthropist (or some Bon Jovi type) who wants to “help someone help others.”
An objective of my project that is as important as increasing literacy is introducing my readers to fundamental concepts of counseling, as many in my target audience may benefit from counseling services but are resistant to the practice due to misinformation, distrust of the “system,” and ineffective and culturally insensitive delivery of services. One skill that I encourage readers to develop and practice is the ability to identify and express feelings. I promote improving this skill because I understand that many of my readers lack the skill due to the stigma in our society that has to do with people, especially men, expressing feelings being a weakness. I believe that if more people were able to effectively express feelings, especially hurt and anger, there would be less violence in Philadelphia (and in our society).
Another concept of counseling that I teach readers of my book is how to honestly assess the situations in their lives. At times, the ability to do this is very difficult for many people in our society (even for myself), as honestly evaluating situations sometimes results in a great deal of pain. Often times, people attempt to avoid the pain of their situations by either ignoring them or viewing them inaccurately so they “see things the way they want to see them.” This behavior is called denial, and it is at the root of this society’s most costly social ills. Very often, we don’t change problems in our society or even aspects about our personalities because we don’t honestly look at them due to the pain involved, and this impacts that way that we view and treat people.
I will attempt to model emotionally healthy behavior by “practicing what I preach” and identifying and expressing the feelings I experience when writing people about my project and them not responding. When I honestly assess how I feel about writing so many people “who don’t have the time to respond,” I’d have to say that I am very disappointed. Actually, I’m not being totally honest about my feelings, and in order to effectively express them, I have to be honest when labeling them. One way that we minimize our feelings is the way that we label them. We are taught to label our feelings in cute and non-threatening ways. We are taught to say that we are disappointed because that sounds better than being angry – taught to say that we are angry because that sounds better than being mad. When I think of all the letters that I have written without a response, I feel rejected, and that makes me mad as shit! “There…I said it!”
Please don’t be put off by me “venting,” as “venting” allows me to process my feelings of anger in a healthy way. For many years, I encountered challenges due to no one teaching me this anger management skill. In fact, I was taught that I shouldn’t even be angry or if I was angry, I shouldn’t “let it show.” I was taught that I’m supposed to ignore the feelings that I experience and “act as though I’m not angry at all.” This coping skill is quite dysfunctional, but it is one that was taught to many of us in this society, especially men. With so many unexpressed emotions, it’s no wonder that we “act out” in unhealthy ways such as suicide, homicide, substance and domestic abuse, overeating, stress, and physical and verbal outbursts.
After I wrote my initial letter, I waited for a response while I read the Philadelphia Weekly and hoped that something was written that indicated your receipt of my letter (as I’m writing this I realize how naïve that sounds). I didn’t get a response, but I was angered when I read the next few issues. Very shortly after writing you, I read a few articles in the Philadelphia Weekly that “made me cry.” The cover of one edition mentioned ?estlove, the drummer from the Roots saying that he has trouble crying due to his experience in the music industry. Also in the issue, I read an ad or some type of PSA that attempted to encourage people in the city to get involved in helping others. The problem with this was that my project wasn’t mentioned as an intervention, only various ineffective agencies in the City of Philadelphia whose best efforts over the years have resulted in the conditions that we now have. When we talk at length (or when you read my book), you will learn my views about theses agencies that are either designed to fail or do nothing other than make the helpers “feel good about giving back” by visiting “tha hood” and growing a garden or putting some mirrors or other kinds of art in neighborhoods where people need money, education, opportunities, and safety (not freshly grown vegatables and murals).
I was angered when reading the ?estlove article because men being unable to cry (and express other emotions) is a issue that I address in my book and in the groups I facilitate with those I work with. I told him (and Jill Scott) this in letters that I wrote to them before a Jill Scott concert a few months ago (needless to say, I got no response). A few issues ago, you did a piece on Supported Independent Living homes, and I related to that story due to the five years I spent as a Case Manager in a Supported Independent Living Program for people who had mental health challenges and were formerly homeless. Although I was angered about reading these articles, I “connected” to them due to them being articles that detailed experiences that I “related to.”
I was livid when reading a recent article in the Philadelphia Weekly that embraced hip hop culture, which is only the key component of my project. The cover story detailed the story of three young men from South Philly who developed and self published a magazine about mix tapes. I was so excited when I read about these three “street smart” guys with no money, no connections, and no publishing experience who developed a magazine “that may work” that I almost overlooked some blaring similarities. Like these guys, hip hop was a central theme of my project, and like these guys, I have no money, no connections, and no publishing experience. I asked myself why where these guys getting “buzz” for their project when I still haven’t gotten a response to my letters despite my writing the newspaper two months ago and pitching my project to anyone who’ll listen for the past two years. I don’t have the answer to that question, but my mind and my past experiences want to tell me things that I refuse to believe. I just hope that I’m not being naïve or that this is not a form of denial. Let’s just hope that I haven’t gotten a response yet because you didn’t get a chance to read my letter, or my project didn’t “move you” (and everyone else) for some reason or another.
I wanted to speak about denial a bit and show you how easy it is even for me to “fall into it.” In my first letter (and earlier in this letter), I asked you to be a mentor to me. I believe that I could benefit from a mentor. I’m just not sure how this type of relationship is developed. Do I choose a mentor, or does a mentor choose me? I’m not sure why you never responded to my letter, but denial results in me ignoring that due to me not wanting to “face the fact” that you didn’t write back and offer to be a mentor to me. However, since you didn’t write me back and say that you wouldn’t be my mentor, you didn’t actually refuse my request, so I will write you from time to time with the hope that you eventually read my letters and respond to them. I am grateful to have someone such as yourself take an interest in my writing career and act as my mentor. Sometimes, all it takes is someone helping a person through “the tough times” to give them the motivation needed to fulfill a dream. I know that my denial of this situation has resulted in my delusional thinking, but right now, I really don’t want to “face” any more rejection. LOL
I could also use your assistance in meeting Jay Z since his music is the focal point of my project. I am certain that when my project is explained to him, he’ll be impressed with its level of genius. In a perfect world, I could simply talk to Jay Z (directly) and “pitch” my project to him. The unlikelihood of this results in my becoming more creative in my approach to meeting him. A person that may speak to Jay Z on my behalf is ?estlove, as he and Jay have worked together in the past. I can meet, email, or call ?estlove and “pitch” my project to him before he “goes to Jay,” so he can determine for himself if my project is as ingenious as I claim. This is where you come in. I’m not sure about the relationship that you have with ?estlove, but he and the Roots were featured in your paper, so I hope that you would speak to him on my behalf.
If it’s inappropriate for me to ask you to speak to people on my behalf (or be my mentor), I apologize, and I mean no disrespect. I can imagine my request(s) appearing to be either utterly ridiculous, wishful thinking, or simply inappropriate. However, having the courage to simply “ask people for exactly what I need” is the result of my “hunger” and having absolutely “nothing to lose.” Because of these reasons, my requests seem rather reasonable to me (if I am wishful enough to believe that you’ll respond to this letter, then I’m “swinging for the fence!”) Besides, I play the lottery, and the odds of me winning that aren’t exactly in my favor. So…
I am embarrassed that this is such a long email, but I have so much to say (and it’s not like I’ll have the time to sit in a coffee shop somewhere and have a lengthy conversation with you. Recent events in Philadelphia have resulted in it “feeling like” the perfect time for a project like as mine. This has resulted in me becoming so impatient that I may appear a bit aggressive (or even inappropriate) when soliciting assistance. I offer my sincerest apologies, but my eagerness is the result of my belief that my project will help many Philadelphians but also be enjoyed by millions of people worldwide.
It’s crazy that I’ve written many African Americans and asked them to help me help our people through an art form that was developed by African Americans, but just like rap music and hip hop culture, a catalyst in “jump starting” this project may be a white Jewish person. Ms. Spikol you have the opportunity to be to this project what Rick Rubin was (and is) to rap music and hip hop culture. In order to “get” the relationship I just described, you’ll have to do some research on the hip hop culture something that through my subliminal “hints” I had hoped that you’d do in order to gain a deeper understanding of my project.
Attached is brief description of my project. If you could read it and provide me with some feedback, I would appreciate it. I’d be honored if you requested that I sent you a more detailed description of my project so I could show you the unique (and ingenious) manner in which I render person centered therapy to a population that is resistant to therapy.

Ronald Crawford

P.S. I if you’re too busy to read and respond to this email, I’ll understand, but more than likely, I’ll write again. If necessary, I may even write a few more times. I must warn you that if I have to write too many times, “I’m gon be on angry Stan type shit” where I write you and tell you how “I’m gon drive off a bridge wit my pregnant baby muva in tha trunk.” I’m only jokin, but Damn…the folk lore associated with that would result in your column achieving cult like status. “I’m only jokin. Remember, it’s only entertainment!”