Match.com Haunts My Dreams
It’s a long story, but some time ago I joined Match.com to see if there were any ladies in the world who might want to date me. This was quite a while ago yet I’m still getting “winks” and matches and I have no idea how to stop the madness.
For instance, “Namaste06901″ from Connecticut just winked at me. I can tell you right now, from her user name, that we have nothing in common; I only use the word “namaste” when I have a particularly violent sneezing attack. She’s very pretty, but talks in her profile about global warming. Now that’s hot. Heh.
Sometimes I get winks from men, which is sort of counterintuitive. But I know what they’re thinking. They’re thinking, If I can just get two of these women to hook up with me … Here’s one of those guys, describing himself:
Inexplicably complex with exceptional skills in lazerium light painting shows on my bedroom ceiling … a closet conductor of symphony orchestras … a lover of winding trails that open into magic landscapes or meandering thru art museums spying on vibrating planes of color.
How much do I want to smack him? I said “women,” not “schmucks.”
I do know people who have had great luck with Match.com and eHarmony. There are also services called Dating4Disabled and NoLongerLonely, which are for People Like Us. The latter caters specifically to people with mental illness. I think that’s such a great idea; imagine not having the painful first date where you feel you have to hide your true self or your past. Fantastic.
One time I went on a date with a girl, though, who told me, over pasta at Applebee’s (her choice) that she’d just gotten out of a psych hospital and still wasn’t sure she wasn’t having hallucinations. I’ll admit that was one time I did feel someone’s mental illness was a little alienating. What if she was only deluding herself about my attractiveness?
Musings. Fun.
liz | 1:56 PM | GLBT
My sister has been having bad luck with Match for awhile. She recently went on a date with a man who immediately alerted her to his high cholesterol. He added to this important first-date information by popping a pill before the meal, explaining, “I’m lactose intolerant.” He then proceeded to obsessively use Blistex throughout the date, making sure to point out, “They used to call me Blistex Boy in high school.” (This is particularly sexy, considering he is now in his 40s). Later in the date, he turned the conversation to the very thing every woman would want to hear about on a first-date– the last girlfriend. “She broke up with me because of my gun collection,” he said.
Well. At least he takes care of his lips.
See, it’s not that i mind dating people with ‘issues’, i just really don’t want them to be the same issues as i have. I’m a mid-transition trans guy, and the idea of dating someone who is also in the midst of gender transition is exhausting and overwhelming and just a bad, bad idea. Mental illness; mid-life crisis; bad social skills: bring ‘em on. Just so long as the baggage is complimentary, not matching.
“Inexplicably complex with exceptional skills in lazerium light painting shows on my bedroom ceiling … a closet conductor of symphony orchestras … a lover of winding trails that open into magic landscapes or meandering thru art museums spying on vibrating planes of color.”
I think this might be my (thankfully) ex-husband.
Liz, I would date you except for the fact that I’m a straight gal and live in SF. I think you are gorgeous and smart and definitely crushworthy.
have you tried okcupid? There are some interesting folks on there. I did match for awhile and hated it. But okcupid is free and has less shmucks.
NoLongerLonely – see right there just by the name I expect to meet sorry sacks of shit. I don’t think the site is a bad idea (not at all) but why stress your reason for joining is your CRUSHING LONELINESS? I was curious and had a look – it pretty much confirmed what I was afraid of. In their ‘about me’ section most people go on at length about their personal problems. Yes, it feels like false advertising if you don’t mention them but, well, it isn’t attractive and, well, that’s the whole point of on-line dating.
Love your blog btw.
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