Dealing With Life? Yes and No
I had a flibberty-gibbet the other night — the kind of thing that makes your companion want to take you to the hospital and tell you later, “It was like you disappeared. There was no one inside.” Mind you, there was plenty of activity: renting of garments, flagellation and an attraction to razor blades. But the Liz of the present was gone.
What prompted my meltdown was that I moved to a new place, alone, thereby disrupting my routine, my solid relationship, my daily contact with my hamster … I could go on. The only positive is that my dog and I are back together after a long time apart, and I can now talk to her all the time. Like, “So Hannah, should we call Comcast and yell at them for completely messing up our account? Or will we have to cancel altogether, despite their monopoly?” Then she lifts her lazy head from her pillow and looks at me as if to say, “I’m sorry we’re having so much TV trouble. I, for one, would really like to watch Animal Planet.” (She’s pictured here yelling at me for putting her in a fisherman’s sweater.)
So it’s a big adjustment. I haven’t lived alone since 2000 or 2001. Wowza. Having time to myself, without TV, just encourages me to think sad thoughts. The difference between being crazy in the old days and being crazy now is that it gets under control at some point — usually when I take the Seroquel and the world comes back into focus. Say what you will about that drug, but Lordy, it sure works for my psychotic episodes.
Forgive me, then, for posting less regularly right now.
liz | 10:06 AM | Uncategorized
cutest dog ever! (next to mine of course)
Congratulations on the move. Sorry the adjustment is taking its toll on you. Living alone does take some getting used to. Just wanted to let you know, though, you shouldn’t be putting Hannah in sweaters or any other kind of clothes. It interferes with the body language that she needs to be able to communicate to other dogs when she is out, and it also interferes with the smell mechanism that lets other dogs know where she is in the pack hierarchy. I have a white fluffy dog I would love to dress up from time to time, but once I heard this reasoning, it made sense to me that I should not. Best of luck getting settled.
We’re with you, Liz.
Liz:
I hope that you are feeling better. Renovating and moving into a new house triggered a such a big major depressive episode for me. A 3 month episode, that I now have only begun to see the light of interest and optimism. That good old/new expensive Effexor- Pristiq has been my lifeline and I have hung on like hell. I know what changes to routine and familiarity can do even with the most considered preparation. I hope your Seroquel kicks in fast. Hannah is so cute. Dress her in a monkey suit if it makes you smile.
Congrats on the new place. You aren’t alone as you might sometimes feel. Becoming acclimated to my new diggs took much longer than I care to admit, though I have, and its good. New things always take time to adjust to, yet the benefits are usually exponential. I’m taking Prestiq and am trying to maintain. You’re an inspiration and I love reading your column. As a side note…that poor dog ..hehe As Carter said, “we’re with you, Liz”
hope you get to feel better soon! i know exactly what you mean, i’m once again living alone now that my husband is away on a contract and it has totally disrupted my routine…i feel spacey and, just like you say, like my world is just out of focus…it’s a really horrible feeling and i don’t quite know what to do with it, i haven’t been on any meds for a while now, but i feel like it might be the solution if i can’t get it together soon:(
why are you alone, tho, if you don’t mind me asking…and if you ever actually answer these comments:)
Hi
I moved into my own little place for the first time more than a year and a half ago. And then my tv died and I didn’t replace it. I am prone to depression. Anyway now I love it. Having the best kitty ever helps. I think you will soon adjust and will like living alone. Especially cause you can be with your Hannah! I got Netflix for when I really want to watch something. There is awesome public radio here. I started taking some college classes at night and do a lot of reading. The only downside is I have to find against my natural tendency to isolate myself but I did that even when I had roommates. and roommates take a lot of time and emotional energy.
“fight” not “find”
against my natural tendency to isolate myself
Clearly, the most salient aspect of this story is that a dog is made to wear a cute sweater. I think it’s only fitting to lecture the author. I don’t even know what this post was about… I’m too incensed.
(In other news: there’s always Netflix.)
I’m so sorry things suck right now. I’m glad you have your cute/sweet puppy with you though! I think the sweater is adorable and will help keep her/him warm!!! Here’s a saying from the 1970’s for you: Keep on Truckin’! lol But seriously, hang in there. I totally understand the TV thing too…most people complain about how it rots your brain, but if it wasn’t for the TV I’d probably stare at walls and think terrible thoughts all day long!!! At least when I watch TV I get out of my own head a little.
Man, I hate it when things suck ass! 
Try reading LOL Cats for fun…it might help to cheer you up a little! And, get in as many cute fixes as you can!!!
Liz,
Thinking of you from NH. I know you can ride through this adjustment. You’ve built your own safety net. You’re an engaging and likable person who has built many friendships online and–I’m sure–off. We like you, we really like you! And we’re here for you.
Sherry
Take care, Liz.
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