I owe everyone reading this a big apology. I’ve been MIA, and thinking myself expendable, I didn’t realize I had worried people. As a person who assumes my father is dead every time I see my mother’s number show up on my caller ID, I understand worry. I just didn’t realize anyone would be worried about me. (You can worry about my dad too, if you want. But he’s actually in very good health.)
What happened is this: I got a new job and promptly became paralyzed by having too many things to do. Of course, I didn’t want to post here on work time (uh … except for now), so I thought I’d post in the evenings. Well in the evenings, I’m usually playing a computer game or reading Dickens or compulsively watching Mad Men or Dexter. So I’m busy. Or at least as busy as all that activity implies. Plus, there’s the Chihuahua and my sugar gliders and my living companion … And my dad might be dead! It’s just all so overwhelming.
Kidding aside, I have felt more socially phobic and withdrawn in the past couple months than in a while. I go through phases with this. I’m on fewer meds than ever before, which means I can’t sleep. Maybe that’s contributing to my desire to isolate. Being sleep-deprived will make anyone feel boring. Who wants to see my baggy eyes?
That thing about the meds — I’m feeling pretty psyched about it. I’ve been on Seroquel for 11 years, and I assumed I’d be taking it for the rest of my life. But guess what? I’m off of it and it’s okay. I titrated extremely slowly, so I didn’t have any rebound psychosis. And if I feel the edges start to wobble, I have a canister of leftovers. But day to day, I’m now only on three meds. I’m so pleased!
I hope you’re all doing well, and I plan to write more from now on. Someone suggested maintaining this piece of my persona was important to the agency I work for. So it’s all okay.
I’ve missed you. Let’s talk again soon.
liz | 5:11 PM | Uncategorized