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Dracula’s Bookcase For Sale

Look what you can get on Craigslist for $350!

That’s right, a coffin-shaped bookcase. Custom-made!

Better act now. I hear people are dying to buy this thing.

Sorry.

Coffin Shaped bookcase – $350 (NE Philadelphia) [Craigslist]
Thanks, Emily

Annoying Neighbors Arrested

Thank God for the Phillies! Their Game 2 win made sure that the mother-daughter prostitution team arrested yesterday stayed off the front page of the Daily News. “Just to be clear, the threesome specifically advertised ‘w4m’ or women for men,” the paper says. Yes, there are 7500 of those ads in Philadelphia alone. Also, shouldn’t it be ww4m? Just want everything to be clear, you know.

Editor’s Note: After typing the previous paragraph, I noticed the story is now on the front page of Philly.com. And there’s not even comments! Sigh.

But the real fun was on television, where the pair had to do a perp walk for the cameras. (This was in Wissinoming, by the way.) One of the women told the station, “It’s a messed up world out there and we have to do this just to get by.” Most importantly, though, was this:

“You always hear that prostitution is a victimless crime, well you see these neighbors, you see how upset they are,” said Lt. Charles Green. “A victimless crime, look at those three kids going down to D.H.S., you tell me they’re not victims?”

If you could get the cops to arrest your neighbors just for making you upset, everyone in Philadelphia would be in prison. And as to the second part, it is Philadelphia DHS, no? So, um, yeah, everyone’s a victim there.

Cops wrestle ‘mom-n-daughter tag team’ [Daily News]
Mom, Daughter Busted In Northeast Philly Sex Sting [CBS 3]

This Is My Favorite Missed Connection Ever


Friday night, my friend and I were walking along 18th, heading to Continental when you and your friends passed us. You asked me if I had a cigarette. Because I didn’t, I said, “No, I’m sorry.” Because I’m Asian, you said, “You’d probably have an egg roll though.” And then snickered to your friends like you believed you had said out loud what they all only wished they had the courage to utter. But it wasn’t brave to disparage someone you look down on. It was hurtful, and because it was hurtful it was common and unoriginal and pathetic. I didn’t think you were pretty before, and after that, you were just ugly. You make the world a worse place by not making it any better. Nobody will ever celebrate you.

Who ever would have thought annoying girls in Center City on Friday nights would make completely unfunny jokes?!

Drunk, racist brunette – m4w – 23 (18th & Walnut) [Craigslist]
Thanks, Chrissy

An Example Of Pittsburgh Nightlife

From Pittsburgh Craigslist: “I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked “Hey, what are you doing?”. Your reply was ‘Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It’s suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it’s lair.’” Let’s remind ourselves it’s not a good idea to do everything the Internet tells us. And also that it’s probably not a good idea to do everything people from Pittsburgh tell us as well. Thanks, Emily.

Only Apply If You’re METAL Enough


Major local media outlet is looking for freelance music journalists who specialize in METAL.

You must be passionate about METAL and have an extensive knowledge of the local METAL scene, relevant bands, releases, and history.

Your Craigslist ad of the day, people. METAL. Thanks, Emily G.

NBC 10: People Searching For Anonymous Sex Online Not Always Truthful

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NBC 10 interviewed a “computer and Internet safety expert” last night to let people know that when you’re searching for anonymous, no strings attached sex online, you could be the victim of blackmail!

The chief story the report used was that of Jessica Wolcot, who tried to blackmail a Pepsi executive after hooking up with him over Craigslist. Of course, Gary Wandschneider was married, so perhaps the advice should be amended: If you are in a relationship and have anonymous sex over Craigslist, you might be blackmailed! (Me? I plan on sharing all my anonymous Craigslist sex stories on this blog sometime. Can’t be blackmailed if you’re proud of it!)

The Internet security expert also said the Internet is “like Candy Land” for scammers, which means they really want to go to Gum Drop Mountain, I guess.

The Fish ARE Cheaper At Big Al’s!

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Hey, do you have a Zune? (Uh, It’s the Microsoft portable MP3 player.) Okay, so we know you don’t. How about a chinchilla? Or some… oh, here, you just read the Craigslist post. (Warning: As usual with the internet, it’s probably fake.)

I have a baby alligator. He is actually about 1.5 – 2 yo. I was told he would grow to be 12-15 feet, however I am keeping him in a pretty large indoor pond, and he has not grown in a while. He is about a foot at most, and I doubt he will get any bigger. HE comes with his 35 gallon indoor pond, filter, fountain, daytime light, night time light, water heater, and I’m sure I could transport whatever fish he has in there at the time. He won’t eat pinky’s, I think they are to big. I used to give him crickets, but they are really annoying chirping away all night. He eats rosy reds and small comets (he likes them the most), which is pretty easy because they are cheap and you can stock up on them and keep them in his pond.

His name is Erwin, and of course I want him to go to a good home, if you are willing to give up a good trade, I’d assume you would mean him no harm.

PLEASE.. keep your opinions to yourself, I don’t care for them!

I am asking for a zune or a baby chinchilla camaro parts or…. make me an offer!

fish are .12 at pet smart each and even cheaper at Big al’s

Truly, Camaro parts for an alligator would be the greatest swap of all time.

[via Geekadelphia]

Breaking: Philly Ticket Scalpers Screwed

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Yesterday, those heading down to the Phillies game had some trouble due to a fire at Ellsworth-Federal just as everybody was heading down to the game. (A friend even said — shocker! — they when he was directed off the subway there were no shuttle buses to be found!)

And today, more Phillies-related fun: A tipster reports that, um, nobody’s been able to post to Craigslist since around 3 a.m. A search seems to prove this. (To clarify: No posts since 3 a.m. or so have gone up on Craigslist sites across the country.)

This means, of course, that nobody can scalp their Phillies tickets for exorbitant sums. Fortunately, I was keeping mine anyway. SRO tix, baby!

Update: Back up!

Yesterday: Breaking: Broad Street Line Shut Down

All Work And No Pay Makes Jack A Dull Boy

Excerpt of a a posting from Craigslist:

The Bulletin, a five day a week newspaper in Philadelphia, is looking for talented, enthusiastic and hard-working people to join our sports staff for the fall high school season. [...] You must have knowledge of sports, writing samples to show and be willing to work weekends. This is a paid position, but the compensation will be discussed down the road. This job is ideal for freelancers and aspiring sports writers looking for experience at a daily paper.

“Compensation will be discussed down the road” means “If we pay you, it’ll be crap.”

Daily newspaper seeks sports writers [Craigslist]

Subject Line Of The Week

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Somebody, please, return this guy’s notebook: He had a bunch of notes on how to spell common words in there.

Writer looses Notebook [Craigslist]