Neasties Not Sold On This ‘Barack Obama’

Amazingly, the editors of the Daily News decided to run the greatest story yet written this year in Saturday’s edition (official motto: “Nearly 2 cents per page!”). Dave Davies followed around Joe Biden in Northeast Philly, and the laughs didn’t stop ’til he left the Dining Car.

But first, Davies chatted with Mike McAleer, the Democratic ward leader in the 66th ward, home of one Daniel Hall McQuade for the first 17 or so years of his life. What’s the problem with getting people there to vote for Obama?

“The Dunkin’ Donut crowd tells me that we’ve got everything going for us but Obama,” McAleer said. “They can’t give me a direct answer. Do I have them right now in the 66th ward? No. But I got 60 days to get them.”

Asked what the problem is with Obama, McAleer paused and said: “It’s his color… I tell them he’s half white and half black. He’s got a better perspective for everything in this country.”

Oh, to be a fly on the wall during a conversation between McAleer and one of those 66th-ward Democrats he’s talking about. But perhaps the vice presidential nominee will have a better shot than the ward leader. Let’s go to the Dining Car!

In a corner booth, Biden sat down and, after a moment’s conversation, planted a kiss on the forehead of Carolyn Bauer, age 89. Bauer explained afterward it wasn’t such a friendly encounter.

“I told him I’m not going to vote for him,” Bauer said. “Anybody who runs with a guy with a name like that is not going to get my vote. It’d be disgusting to get a man named Barack Obama as president of the United States. No way. I mean it… I’m going to vote for McCain and the lady.”

“[Obama's] a Muslim,” Bauer added. “He pretends to be a Christian, and he isn’t, he’s a Muslim.”

McCain/the lady ‘08, apparently! Hope you enjoy your 71-year-old president, America.

Biden gets mixed welcome in Northeast [Daily News]

Mayor Disappointed In Murder Suspect

Eric Floyd, the fugitive suspect in the slaying of police Sgt. Stephen Liczbinski, was captured yesterday. All good.

Then things got surreal:

Afterward, the mayor told reporters said he got within two feet of Floyd. “I looked him dead in the eye when he came in, and I told him how disappointed I was in him,” Nutter said. There was no response from the suspect, the mayor added.

Ooh, you showed him, Mr. Mayor! Two feet! Maybe someone can set up a trip for the mayor to death row where he can tell every killer how disappointed he is. “Don’t murder, guys! You might let the mayor down!”

Suspect caught, arraignment today [Inquirer]

‘Blue By Day’ Cop’s House Vandalized

Philly narcotics cop Scott Schweizer, who allegedly had a blue by day/white by night poster in his locker, is in the news again; this time, somebody spraypainted “KKK” and “die pig” on the back of his place which appears to be in Mayfair from the photo.

He chased the vandals off and says the believes the men attempted to break in as well. Sounds pretty open and shut. Oh wait!

Rochelle Bilal, president of the Guardian Civic League, which represents 3,000 black officers in Philadelphia, questioned the validity of Schweizer’s story. “I would do a handwriting analysis first before making a decision that there was a crime committed,” said Bilal, who declined to elaborate.

A handwriting analysis… on graffiti? Honestly, I’ve just never heard of that. Also, according to Bilal, Schweizer possibly spraypainted “KKK” and “die pig” on the back of his own house. (A self-hating cop?) Having KKK stickers in one’s locker is a stupid, if plausible, thing to do. Are we to assume this dude is the stupidest man in the world, spraypainting his own house just to get attention? This isn’t a Princeton conservative we’re talking about here.

Anyway, don’t worry, all of this is going to blow over; after all, having a “white power” sticker in your locker is no different than pink power or blue power. Ohh, boy, I love me some Power Rangers!

Alycia Lane Arrested! (Bonnie & Clyde Who?)

Yes, yes! We may not get photos of Alycia Lane in a bikini, but we apparently will be getting a mugshot! That’s right: Alycia Lane has been arrested for allegedly assaulting a female NYPD officer.

Daily News reporter Regina Medina is reporting exclusively that Lane, 35, was arrested at 2:04 a.m. today at the corner of W. 17th Street and 9th Avenue and later charged with one count of assault witih intent to cause physical injury to an officer, said NYPD spokesman Sgt. Carlos Nieves. The 10th Precinct officer suffered lacerations to her face, Nieves said. Lane was also accompanied by an unidentified male, according to the NYPD report.

Also, according to a version of the complaint, Lane said to the officer: “I don’t give a fuck who you are, I’m a fucking TV reporter, you fucking dyke.”

More »

Benjamin Franklin’s Bald Head Covered In Piss: Funny?

The Daily Pennsylvanian has an article about a Penn tradition today: Pissing on the Benjamin Franklin statue.

There’s a Ben Franklin statue on a bench near 36th Street and Locust Walk, and sometimes, late at night, kids piss on the statue for good luck. Or to say they did it. There are similar stupid Penn traditions, most of them pretty recent — having sex under the button, not walking over a compass on the ground or you fail your first midterm, lines of coke — but the pissing on the Franklin statue is the one that’s actually pretty fucking boss.

So, why are students so eager to mark their territory? “There’s a fascination with leaving your urine on different objects that represent power,” [Penn's senior class president] said.

“It’s more symbolic,” added the anonymous sophomore shortly after he urinated on Ben’s head. “You’re peeing on two hundred years of history.”

Another part of the appeal, the perpetrators say, is that students know, but outsiders don’t – and they often take a seat next to Ben, or on his lap. In fact, Desmond Tutu, Bill Cosby, Hillary Clinton and Vanna White have all sat next to Ben for photo ops while on campus.

Of course, people get angry at this, including the artist who originally made the statue and people in the comments who don’t understand that college students are, um, college students. Also, pissing on the statue could be a third-degree felony!

Red, blue — and yellow [DP]