Man Holds Wacky Presser

It had been a while since City Controller Alan Butkovitz had had some ridiculous press conference where he came up with some wacky idea, and so Get rid of the student TransPass program! Hell yeah! Wait, what?

Ahh, he says that the TransPass program allows truant kids “to roam the system from 6 a.m. to 7 p.m.” Umm, probably? Oh, right, and one person was attacked and died on SEPTA, and if he could exploit that death a bit, he would be able to sleep well at night. (I think that was the gist of it.)

SEPTA says it has no evidence of crime by students with TransPasses. More specifically, to quote the Inquirer: “In a written response to Butkovitz, he said crime statistics, which show a spike in crime after school dismissal times, have not changed much in recent years.”

But whatever, let’s get to the most awesomest idea in the history of awesome press conferences:

And he urged that SEPTA police turn over the responsibility for rousting homeless people from the concourses to civilian officials, to free up more police to deal with violent crime.

Civilian officials? Who, Center City District? Once Upon a Nation? City Tavern employees? Society Hill Civic Association? The A-Team? An Army of Robocops?

Either way, I can’t wait ’til a team of private employees get to harass the homeless downtown so the homeless don’t harass rich people. Sometimes I’m so proud to live in this city it almost makes me cry.

Should SEPTA end student TransPass program? [From The Source]

Michael Chitwood Wants, Gets Attention

Here’s Michael Chitwood, using a taser on himself. Hey, Mike! It’s a slow news week: You didn’t have to go this far in order to get the media’s attention. The only person who’s really excited about this is Ira Einhorn.