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Boardwalk Merchants Encourage Voting

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Citizen Mom went down the shore over the weekend and spotted this wall of incredible bootleg t-shirts on the Wildwood boardwalk, including shirts for Obama, Clinton and even creepy old John McCain. The “Osama for Obama” one begs the question: No “Barry Hussein” shirts?

This Could Be A Very Long Summer [Citizen Mom]

OMG WTF OBL

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Yesterday, a grand jury charged a Wilkes-Barre man with offering to help al-Qaeda to blow up oil piplines, refineries and the stadium of the Phillies former AAA affiliate, the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Red Barons. (He’s really angry about the decision the Phils made to drop the club.)

Michael Reynolds, 48, did not have any bombs, biological weapons or al-Qaeda uniforms, but he did post to a Yahoo! messageboard titled OBLcrew.

Of course, after posting on the board asking for someone to help him follow through with his plot, he was contacted by an al-Qaeda operative. The operative was — surprise! — a municipal judge who was attempting to find terrorists online.

Basically, our government has done a bang-up job capturing a man who thought al-Qaeda hung out in Yahoo! chat rooms. But, hey, at least he had some sort of a plan for terrorism, unlike those dudes in Miami.

I’m sure that once we convict the notorious cell leader Michael Reynolds of OBLcrew, the rest of the cells will fall like dominos.

Wilkes-Barre man indicted in terror plot [Inquirer]
OBLCrew [Yahoo! Groups]

How Michael Smerconish Spent His 9/11

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If you haven’t checked out Michael Smerconish’s column today, be sure to give it a whirl.

Smerconish writes a memo to Osama Bin Laden from the “Philadelphia Cell” — who wants to bet they live in Fishtown — about how the Islamofascists are winning the War on America because people watched a football game on 9/11, among other things. It’s strange that the note is in English, but, hey.

Smerconish thinks we (as a nation) didn’t grieve enough, didn’t treat 9/11 seriously enough, aren’t as concerned with Osama Bin Laden as he (and his president, of course) are. With that being said, it’s time to chronicle how Michael Himself spent his Sept. 11, protecting our freedom and helping to bring the Philadelphia Cell to justice.

4:30 a.m. — Smerconish wakes up in his Montgomery County home, makes himself a nice breakfast of Freedom Toast and American Bacon.

5:00 a.m. — Smerconish interrupts his drive to work to get “9/11″ tattooed on his forehead (pictured).

More »

In The Event Of Emergency, Please Go Nuts

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Most Philadelphians laugh at the thought of being an attacked by terrorists here in our city. I mean, what terrorist in their right mind would actually attack a city of such middling influence as this one? And terrorists like the still at-large Osama seem to be concerned with attacking places that hurt the United States financially, not symbolic things like Philly has.

Still, we are a major American city, and terrorists are clearly stupid — and, remember, Oklahoma City was attacked once — so who knows what could happen. Having a little protection would be nice.

Unfortunately, the Department of Homeland Security has just cut funding for the five county metropolitan Philadelphia area — down $3 million to $19.5 mil — while the state of Pennsylvania went from $82 million last year to $49 million this year.

A cover story in Metro (not online) quotes a Street spokesman saying that several ongoing programs, including “mass care sheltering” — providing, uh, shelter and care for a large number of people in the event of a catastrophe. The state hasn’t decided how it’s going to divide up the money yet, and Chaka Fattah says we should get more funding.

It could, though, be worse. New York City is going to get $83 million less than last year.

Mr. Perfect he ain’t

031506curtweldon.jpg At this point, everyone pretty much has figured out that the government screwed up regarding 9/11. Whether you blame Bush, Clinton, Congress, the CIA, the FBI, the ATF, the Transportation Department, HUD or that guy who got shot by Dick Cheney, pretty much you realize the government screwed up. (And, even if you’re one of those conpiracy theorists, you still probably blame the U.S. government, just in a sinister way.)

Local Congressman Curt Weldon thinks the government is to blame, but he has a twist on the idea: If the government had listened to Curt Weldon, 9/11 would have been avoided. I mean, we still would have had the day, just no terrorists would have knocked down any buildings.

Weldon has made the charge that a secret government program called “Able Danger” recommended taking out Mohammad Atta and two others before 9/11, but the government failed to act. He’s written a book to this effect.

Of course — whether Weldon was being truthful or not — a bunch of military guys said they never saw Atta’s photo and Weldon himself isn’t sure of it anymore. Hmm.

But, fear not! He’s come up with a way to move the attention from his “Able Danger” allegations to something even better, according to the Inquirer:

Yet even as his story triggers more and more questions, Weldon is making explosive new allegations. He says a high-level source has told him that terrorist leader Osama bin Laden has died in Iran, where he has been in hiding.

Yeah, dude, I dunno about that. You think Osama would pass up getting a look at his niece’s reality show?

Weldon 9/11 tale unravels, but wait [Inky]
Bin Laden’s Singing Niece Gets Reality Show [Billboard]

Quickies: It’s snow time!

• Get to the ACME! There’s a storm comin’! [NBC 10]

• Neil Stein will report to prison on Friday as he begins his one-year sentence for tax evasion. But, it’s okay, because Oprah named Rouge’s burger the best in the nation. Enjoy it while you can, Neil! [Inky]

• President Bush says he’s going to catch Osama Bin Laden. With this administration’s luck, he’ll have Bin Laden, try to shoot him and accidentally hit a Republican campaign donor instead. [CNN.com]

• The U.S. Olympic team says they don’t need any six-foot guards. Eh, that makes sense, I guess, since it’s basketball and all, and… oh, it’s Allen Iverson? Well then. [Inky]

Any (Arab) port in a storm

022006osamabinladen.jpg All the national newscasts were in an uproar yesterday over lawmakers who had questioned selling several major Atlantic Ocean ports to a company controlled by the United Arab Emirates.

Now, I thought we were boys with the UAE: They don’t support terrorism, they’re pretty “Westernized” — and most importantly they’re effing rich, and there’s nothing this administration loves more than rich people, even if they’re not white.

Well, the administration did approve the deal, but, then again, it was improved by the Homeland Security Department, and we all know how good of a job they did during Hurricane Katrina.

All the lawmakers hit the talk shows yesterday, talking points in hand, to attack the approval of the deal, in a hope that those Arabs, no matter how united their emirates may be, don’t get to control American access ports.

Nevermind that the ports will probably still be staffed by the same people if the deal goes through. We’re living in a post-9/11 world, where it’s okay if security sucks as long as it’s a black or white person.

On a side note, what if they do try to ship in, say, Osama Bin Laden, into Philadelphia, one of the ports that would be Arab-run? We’ll just crack open the package and, whammo!, Bin Laden taken alive!

Lawmakers question Arab-run ports [AP/Philly.com]
Bin Laden Vows Never to Be Captured Alive [AP/ABC News]

Riddle me this, Osama

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Aww, yeah. Now Osama Bin Laden is screwed.

“Holy Terror, Batman!” Superhero takes on Al-Qaeda [AFP via Yahoo!]

Just a little respect, B-L-O-G-S

012006cheerleader.jpg News out of the National Journal: Blogs are now respectable! Indeed, according to an article in the magazine, blogging and bloggers are doing better than ever, attracting more eyeballs and taking away from the oh-so-dreaded mainstream media. Erhm, okay.

That being said, I’d like to report some Philadelphia Will Do exclusives that you won’t find the “MSM” reporting:

• The 9/11 attacks were actually caused by a Catholic conspiracy to take over the world.

• Osama Bin Laden is actually a muppet.

• Kurt Cobain is still alive and touring as “Sliver: A Nirvana Tribute Band.”

• Former Philadelphia Phillies 3B Mike Schmidt is actually dead.

• That cheerleader, Jennifer K., in the photo at left? She calls me every night. (In real news, actually, this cheerleader went to my grade school, but a year ahead of me.)

• John Street’s hair is actually a hat. Oh, and he’s white.

Okay, that’s all. Hope you enjoy these exclusives. R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

The Rise Of Blogs [National Journal via Romenesko]
Sept. 12, 2005: The last word on the “John Street hat”

Quickies: Bin gone for a while

• Guess who’s back? Back again! Bin Laden’s back! Offerin’ a truce! Hrmm… something tells me we shouldn’t trust the guy, but I can’t quite put my finger on why. [KYW 1060]

• Oh, it’s on: Promoter Renamity is suing Le Jardin, the restaurant inside the Art Alliance, over the disastrous New Year’s Eve party the company hosted there. Le Jardin’s lawyer calls it “nonsense.” Rawr! [Metro]

• From the it’s-a-bit-of-a-stretch-department: Connecting the Jan. 9 death of Sister Paul Mercedes Perreca, hit crossing the street to attend mass, to the death of Sarah McGinley, hit by an unlicensed driver on her front yard in April. Even more of a stretch: St. Matt’s “isn’t considered a problem area” for traffic. [DN]

• Bucks County Crime report: “Thefts from vehicles: Bath St., battery from Cougar taken sometime within past week.” Somebody has a Cougar? In Bucks County? [Bucks County Courier Times]