Trust Me, This Show Is Awful

Yesterday, Philly.com front, late afternoon:

Last Wednesday, PW ran my review of Trust Me, which basically made fun of TNT’s horrible new show for 400 words.

Just be sure to know: No matter the issue, Philly.com and I will be in direct opposition on it.

Turn On The Today Show Right Now

Brian Boitano is figure skating to the music of “Five for Fighting” — at first I thought he said he was skating “for firefighters” — in a set he personally choreographed for Today. He’s on the show promoting his new show, which features ice skating to the music of Seal.

Rest assured, I am not clever enough to be making any of this up.

The Funniest Game Show On Earth

While I’m on the subject of great television (see previous post), I must write about what I saw on a recent episode of Family Feud. For some reason we don’t get Game Show Network here in Center City (my parents, who also have Comcast but live in the Far Northeast, do get it), so I’m forced to watch Channel 69’s hourlong block of it at 9 p.m. if I want my fix of the Feud. (It’s the new version, hosted by John O’Hurley, but it’ll do.)

What’s always been great about Family Feud is how pointless the entire show is. Basically: Whoever wins the last round wins the game. The point values triple in the final round, and even if one team is so far ahead (the other night, a team was up something like 207-28) the best they can hope for if they lose the final round is a sudden death multiple choice tiebreaker.

Okay, so: Most of the questions, pointless. That’s a good thing, because the questions are absolutely nonsensical. Sometime last month, an actual question was: “Tell me something about Sanjaya.” Number five answer was something like, “He’s goofy.” Uhm, I guess that former American Idol contestant is goofy, but you probably could have given me a thousand guesses and I’d never realize that 2 people in their survey of 100 thought the most notable thing about Sanjaya was that he was goofy.

(As you might have already guessed, the number one answer was “He was on American Idol.” Also, one of the answers no one was able to get was, “He’s a bad singer.” I hope you’re already setting your DVRs.)

Last night, a round was, Match Game bonus round-style, “Name something that begins with solar.” Two separate answers were “solar power” and “solar energy.” The next round was, “Name the most important issue to voters in the 2008 election.” We got some borderline stupid answers like “Community,” and for some reason “home foreclosures” counted as “economy” but “foreign policy” didn’t count as “War/Iraq.” Whatever. What was best was the answer nobody got, number 4: “Who will be president.”

I don’t remember how many people said it, but “Immigration” was lower with only 2 people, so let’s assume it was something like 10. In a way, it’s absolutely pointless, since that’s what the question was de facto about, i.e. what people will care about when voting for president in the 2008 election. But in another way: How wasn’t it number one?? I mean, it’s correct. The most important issue voters cared about in the 2008 election was who would be president.

And this is why Family Feud is the best game show of our time. (I watch Jeopardy! more religiously, but that’s because it’s actually good — and better recently, actually — and I enjoy its fact-based questioning.)

Introducing: Trevor

Did you guys watch last night’s premiere of A Double Shot at Love? It’s a spinoff of A Shot at Love and A Shot at Love 2, both with Myspace star Tila Tequila. There was also That’s Amore!, which was a spinoff of the first season of Shot at Love, and featured a dude from the first season and hanging meat in the background. It’s best just not to ask.

Anyway, this new show features two bisexuals (hence the Double Shot, like on ‘MMR in high school!) instead of just one, and they’re twins! The Ikki Twins, to be exact, which — if it’s pronounced like I hope it is — is kind of perfect. Anyway, one of the contestants is from the Philadelphia area, and his name is Trevor.

Laid-back surfer dude Trevor is an easygoing East Coaster from Narberth, PA., who has a warm smile and an endearing beach bum chuckle. A devoted skater and watersports enthusiast, the professional boat captain loves anything that involves the ocean and hopes to make a big splash with one of the Ikki twins. Can Trevor hang 10 and sail away with A Double Shot at Love?

Anyone here jet ski and water ski and surf and whatever else there is enough to call themselves a “watersports enthusiast.” No? Well, if you ever do, keep in mind there are losers like me who spend so much time on the Internet they’ve gotten jobs that have them tethered to their laptops, and so they come across all the best dredge the Internet has to offer, and as such “watersports enthusiast” means something entirely different.

But no matter. Word on the street is Trevor actually gets pretty far in this season, so keep an eye out for his endearing beach bum chuckle appearing every week on this horrible show none of you will probably watch.

A Double Shot at Love: Trevor [MTV.com]

VP Debate To Draw Up To 5 People Away From Watching Phillies Game

Well, well! It looks like Sarah Palin is a fake Phillies fan indeed! Instead of watching Game 2 like everybody else, Palin will apparently be debating Joe Biden tonight on the teevee.

KYW 1060 details the brand new dilemma: Two things on television at the same time that people want to watch! Who ever knew there could be two interesting things on TV at once? I had no idea the medium had gotten that good.

Of course, the radio station calls in an expert to let us know what will actually be happening:

Miller also points out that baseball is a game with a lot of pauses and down time, and he suspects a lot of remotes will get a workout if there’s a conflict.

Ahh, yes, the so-called “remote control.” A fine new invention, but I doubt it will catch on.

VP Debate, Phillies Game Compete for TV Viewers [KYW 1060]

Gossip Girlfriend

And you thought I’d forget? Puh-leeze. After the first installment was such a hit, it’s clear my girlfriend and I needed to do a second. Naturally, we managed to finish it a few minutes ago. But it’s perfect: Tonight is the Gossip Girl season finale, and what better time than just a little over four hours ’til it airs to recap last week’s episode and set the stage for the end of the first season.

After the jump, a bunch of jokes youse will probably whine about in the comments. Talk all you want, it will only make my resolve stronger.

More »

Bob Brady Now Ready For Prime Time

Despite the campaign contribution limits still firmly in place, Bob Brady’s campaign has enough cash to start running television ads, the Inquirer’s Marcia Gelbart reports.

The ads are spread out across the four networks, mainly on the local news. (And they’ll also air on The Apprentice and Grease: You’re the One That I Want.)

No word on what Brady’s ads will be like, but based some of recent Brady interviews — “Every night some father will go to bed trying to feed his family, not able to afford a can of soup,” Brady said. “Thirty-five years ago, I was that father.” — they will probably be just as depressing as Tom Knox’s.

Brady ready for television ad debut [Inquirer]
Jan. 25: Bob Brady To Make Mayor’s Race Even More Depressing

Barbaro Is A Shill, Too

More fun with NBC 10’s talking version of Barbaro:

Q – I can’t believe this is on a fucking TV news station’s website.

A – I don’t have much time for television with all my training. However, I make sure I catch that crazy Jason Lee every week in MY Name Is Earl on NBC 10.

I liked Barbaro before he was a sellout.

Chat With Barbaro [NBC 10]
Yesterday: Good Luck In The Pre-Ak-Ness, Barbaro!

Blogicized: In Case You Can’t Afford A Walkman…

• God help us: You’re going to be able to get ‘IP on your cell phone. Hopefully they’ll have ringtones of Eskin going, “Cock-a-roach!” [The 700 Level]

• There are only four episodes of Sopranos left, and yet there are so many gay and non-gay plotlines left to explore! [SteveSilver.net]

• Oh, yes, the jihadists are really into Atrios and Suburban Guerilla, and they’re issuing a denial of service attack on conservative blogs only because they love American liberalism. Yeah, those Islamofascists are all about, y’know, gay marriage and such. I thought the oh no the media is ignoring Stephen Colbert (a man with his own TV show and a book coming out) conspiracy theory was going to be the silliest thing I read today. [Blonde Sagacity]

• Oh, come on! Movie studios don’t get techie stuff wrong! I mean, The Net was 99.99 percent true to life. And Hackers was simply the truest movie ever made! [Literal Barrage]

Reality show for T.O.

Late friday afternoon, Banyan Productions issued a press release announcing that Terrell Owens has entered into an agreement with the company for a reality television show.

The show also promises Internet and mobile content, for those of you who have stronger stomachs than I do. The show is billed in the release’s headline as a “fitness reality show,” but there’s no explanation of what that means. The release also says the show “will combine T.O.’s passion for working out with his natural curiosity about other people.”

It promises guests from the world of fitness, sports and politics. T.O. interviewing Dubya? Or, even better, Rick Santorum?

Yes, I’m with all of you: I can’t wait for this show. And to prep you for it, let’s go with the new blog standard — an embedded video from YouTube:

Although this was apparently recorded by shooting a camera at the screen, it’s still T.O.’s appearance on Punk’d, and it’s still good.

Banyan Productions and NFL Superstar Terrell Owens Enter Partnership for New Reality Fitness Series [BusinessWire via BenMaller.com]